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Subject: Re: IQ Test Requirement to Have Kids, please do

Forum: IQ Test Requirement to Have Kids, please do

I hope the video works! If it doesn't process, I will use another post to fix it.
@Alex Your point about poor people who make choices to smoke or do drugs made me think of having a poor mentality versus individuals that are economically challenged. I perceive people who have a poor mentality to be those who smoke or do drugs or get tattoos instead of spending money to better themselves. People who are economically challenged just do not have much money but will do well when they improve their tax bracket. Since I have not been around that long, I am just learning about your background. Do you have undocumented Native American background as well? It is sad that there are so many of us who do not have access to funds for college. Thank you for sharing your personal story.

@ Under, thank you for response. Ur points were addressed above, but I do want to respond to your last point. It is true that children can grow up to be smarter than their parents. As the original point is not my opinion, I agree with your contention with this point. What problems do you think are more important than population control?

@Woody Let me walk through your brain with you. Thanks for the stats. I am not a Kant advocate, I just love the Categorical Imperative. I appreciate your opinion and mention of Berdyeav—he looks like someone I want to look into, as well as Heidegger and many others. I don’t mind people that need to categorize everything. Defining terms is so important for clear communication.

I also agree with you that different philosophies are appropriate for different situations. I think morality is purely subjective. By my application of Kant, it is my hope to explore the idea that we can meet in a place where we perceive what we expect from ourselves as equivalent to what we expect from others.

Nice mention of Bronte! What I find most interesting about this makes me think of what Alexandrea said in relation to Jane Eyre…there can be people who are poor with a certain amount of education that come from good families, like Jane. I think this group could potentially help communicate with the self-destructive group to fight for the environment. Bronte said conventionality is not morality and self-righteousness is not religion. Anyone pervert the tenets of a philosophy to further their own ends. I need to look into Mill again. It has been maybe 10 years since I have read Mill, so apologies for the misinterpretation.

Subject: Re: ....are you afraid of relationships/marriage???

Forum: ....are you afraid of relationships/marriage???

Gosh that was a fast 3 minutes. I think in the future I need to slow down, but right now I am tired and just happy to get my posts in. Also, I have been told that I move around a lot on camera if I don't focus on not moving around or gesticulating, so welcome to the real me.

@Luring I love that you intro'd with how you thought you had your life planned out. I did that too! I thought I would graduate from Columbia at 21, find my husband there, and be engaged by 22, married sometime in the next few years. Best laid plans...

Especially having found the person that I have always imagined, I am so excited for the challenge of staying together. I accept that it will be hard. I accept that, in the end, something may change between us, and we might have to amicably separate. This is what happened in my previous longstanding relationship. We are still great friends. We are still close because the promises we made to care about each other remain true. It does not matter whether we have romantic love anymore, we chose to become part of each other's lives and stand by that choice.

I am really tired and get to see man of my dreams as soon as I am done with this post. Again, long day which serves to increase how much respect I have for all of you dedicated CNetters who have been here for so long.

I hope that I am not being too much of an idealist and that those of you that want committed relationships and marriage find the same happiness that I have finally found at 30.

In conlusion, I think commitment can be scary and challenging but it is a choice that requires dedication and flexibility. Honesty and trust are the platform upon which relationships are built, but it is more important to be honest with yourself so you can be honest with your partner. With those qualities in place, you can do anything.

Wishing you the best of nights, CNet! Here's to another fun round tomorrow!

Subject: Re: Saddle up and Do your homework

Forum: Saddle up and Do your homework

Thank you all for your feedback, support, opinions, and compliments! You are most welcome. My main point stated in the video is that I want people to utilize the resources available to them on the site and use other forms of communication to ask for advice. For example, I posted my e-mail address inviting questions from new members on my profile the same day I posted this forum. The offer still stands.

@Goober Thank you for calling me brave, but I was really just having an honest moment where I had to say what was on my mind. I think it is great that you have a helpful response on tap for people because that is helpful to foster success. I think it is great that you are unabashedly yourself! That’s why we love you!

@Tenk Glad I made you laugh! You made really great suggestions of Dos and Don’ts for newbies in your post. I hope they read it. I am glad you point out that this is a job. It really is. Thanks for standing up and saying “everyone on the leaderboard does not have their families voting for them. We’re up there because we worked our asses off.” I have not been around for years yet, but I commend you & respect you. I look forward to seeing how CNet has progressed by the time I have been here as long as your or bear!

@Melchop Welcome back! I have been wondering where you went and am glad to have you back. Rose is a standup, classy lady as Mission also states. Her patience is indeed a virtue, and we all respect and support her for it. Your concluding statements are great advice!

@Henry Thanks, Ace! I really appreciate that!

@Reeses I agree that some people request advice respectfully. I think Jack’s forum was one of those but was also the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I just couldn't spare an advice post. I absolutely agree that we should be “welcoming and help them do their best.” It is just an issue of using the proper medium. There is Facebook; veterans like luringattraction post invitations to connect on their profiles; there are better ways than forum posts. You're right; these posts are harmless. I just feel bad that I cannot help everyone, so my frustration comes from a place of compassion, not annoyance as it may have seemed. I appreciate your acknowledging my proactive choice and calling it admirable. I respect your opinion and your approach to showing support. I guess it is just my engineering background to streamline for efficiency and finding my own solution.

@MsB welcome & thx!

Subject: Re: The only Starbucks in Boston with Mission2Win

Forum: The only Starbucks in Boston with Mission2Win

Alex and Sandesh!

I totally had to use my last post of the night to respond here. I hope my video works; it did not replay correctly and I am exhausted.

The video just says that I am so excited for you to have the honor of visiting with each other, and yes, of course, I am down for a trip to Vegas. My brother lives there, in fact! Keep me posted on the details and timeline.

You are my last two responses for my Saddle up and Do your homework forum, so I thought I would save on efforts and put the two of you together in this forum because it only takes a few characters to say yes, I would love to go to Vegas! And how often are two CNetter going to be in the same place such that I can do a double post in one!

@Alex Thank you for chiming in. I am glad that I created a forum for you to vent and mention the great advice of getting outside of your comfort zone. I find that to be really important. Every time I do something that I am not sure how it will be received is when I typically get more attention and more votes. I think demonstrating growth or being provocative, as others have said, is very important. Thanks for saying that you would have posted on my forum had you seen it. It basically said "So what kind of posts will you respond to?" It's really ok. :) Of course, I love your reference to microbes and evolution to get your point across. You make awesome points that newbies should really target as things to pay attention to.

More importantly, right now, have a great trip! Enjoy your visit! Looking forward to details and pictures!

@Mission I sincerely appreciate how you personalized the experience of being new somewhere. It really made me internalize and remember what that was like. I suppose because this is the internet instead of a tangible place, I feel like potential resources are more readily available. I do understand that it is important to be acknowledged and addressed personally. You made that clear in a great way.
Have a great time hosting! Can’t wait to hear all about it and see what forums you come up with after your adventure with Alex!

Have a great night and an awesome start to the weekend!

Goodnight!

Subject: Re: Screwed because I'm not a minority

Forum: Screwed because I'm not a minority

Just want to clear up my last statement of my previous post. By saying, “We don’t choose our heritage, but we can claim it.” I was referring to the universal ‘we’ meaning anyone who might belong to more than one ethnic group. This was particularly in response to “For goodness sake, even if your great grandfather was full Pueblo…you’re not even Native American! No African American person would ever try to pass a 1/16th white background off as ‘being white.’ That’s because they’re not.” This is very short sighted, and very limited in how you perceive cultural background.

Take a look at Wentworth Miller He is a gorgeous man. You can see he is white. He is also black. I realize, Comp, when you brought up fractions of heritage you were talking great grandparents, but seriously why can’t people belong to more than one culture no matter how far back the bloodline goes?

To specifically address Ed’s question of what constitutes discrimination, it is extremely unfortunate that students like Ed have trouble finding financial assistance for school because they do not belong to a group that is recognized to have been systematically discriminated against in the past such that our current society is making adjustments to accommodate and make up for the past.

I think it needs to be said that white men are not being discriminated against. It is that special accommodations are not being made for you, so you feel like it’s discrimination. Fair explanation?

In time, as there are more women and minorities in positions of power, the playing field will equalize. The issue is that in many cases, if we just based scholarships or college acceptance on intelligence and merit alone, white men often dominate. Honestly, Ed, as a follow Adult Learner, I can say that you can blame age just as much as your race and gender. There are so many scholarships that are open to high school seniors or even college Frosh that we are just not eligible for because of our age. At this stage in the game, the system tries to cater to non-dominant groups who may have fallen through the cracks of traditional education to offer chances at staying in or getting into academia.

Adult students do not have as many opportunities as “traditional age” students. What do you think of age-ism in the university? Maybe you need to look into adult focused programs like Yale’s Eli Whitney program or Columbia’s GS school.

Good luck!

Subject: Re: Making time and reconnecting with your parents

Forum: Making time and reconnecting with your parents

A couple notes about my video:

1. I am not high. My eyes are really squinty because my contacts are REALLY dry and I cannot find my drops.
2. Thank you, Jill, for the opportunity to reflect on my relationship with my parents and be grateful for what I have with them now.
3. I say "Ya know" a lot in this one.


I have mentioned before that I have a health disorder that, sort of, derailed my life in college. I have also recently divulged that after my diagnosis I estranged myself from my parents for about 3.5 years. It was hard.

I didn't mention in the video that I had a great, very vegan Cosby show type upbringing as far as how we were raised. I have no complaints. My parents, especially my Dad, were a bit hard on me at times because they felt they needed to keep me on the rails of success...or something.

Our relationship became very strained in the mid 2000s because of my condition, and I had to distance myself from my family to take care of my health. I had to find out the best way to reconstruct my lifestyle, and I did. Upon figuring out how to proceed on my own and creating a scenario in which they could not impact my health or my freedom, we began rekindling our relationship in 2011. Now things are great.

They are really happy with what I am doing with my life. They, of course, like my job and foot in the Computer Science world; they also support my performance. They attended every improv show that they were in town for and help out in my travel to Chicago on weekends when they can. Let me tell you the carpool with Dad option is way nice.

I can honestly say that I appreciate having had time in which I felt like I had no biological parents. I appreciate what we do have even more. I am eager to learn all I can from them. They are great cooks. I have so much to learn from my yoga teacher mother about taking good care of myself throughout my whole life. It feels like my Dad knows everything (except how to fold a fitted sheet better than me) and has pragmatic methods that I hope I can learn to employ.

In the time that I was away from my family, I was lucky enough to have another amazing family adopt me, if you will. My 2nd family is full of amazing people. We are still in contact, and they are very supportive. They know me and accept me in ways that my own family never could. I have the opportunity to see them on weekends when I commute to Chicago. I am thankful for all my parents!

Subject: Re: One Foot in Two Worlds

Forum: One Foot in Two Worlds

Still with the squinty, dry eyes...still no eye drops.

Thank you all for the support here! The audition was super fun! I did a few good things, but my main scene fell flat & I figured out what I "should" have done 3 seconds after the scene closed. Oh well.

If you do not watch the video, I initiated a moment of silence for Loren & her family. We love you & are here for you!

@Sebsgo welcome to CNet! Glad to have you here and on my forum! Thank you for being an example of following what I want to do and trusting myself to make the right decision. It's back to Reeses' Dad's advice! AH! :) Thank you for your confidence in me and the compliments!

@Aalaa I feel for you trying to choose between your dream school and a cheaper school. Went to my dream school; I think I am still paying for it. It is up to you and ROI (return on investment) that you think you will have when you graduate. I wish you the best in your decision and hope you keep us posted!

@Woody blast, Something Wicked is Bradbury! Stranger in a Strange Land & A Moon is Harsh Mistress! Yep, had to look it up but I am familiar. Just out of practice, obviously. I love how dynamic and diverse of a person you are. I feel like you totally get the pull I feel in all directions. Part of my issue is that I have lived the straight man job and done what I wanted on the side for a year now, and I want more! If you give a mouse a cookie... Thanks for the compliments. You're right; I just have to stand strong and do SOMETHING. Haven't learned how to butcher a hog yet...but I still have time.

@Dare I really want to speak directly to you, so I will follow up.

Probably 2 more installments!

Subject: Re: Do anonymous comments have a place on the web?

Forum: Do anonymous comments have a place on the web?

The final point I suggest as food for thought in my video post is how to promote accountability among the younger generations because that seems to be where the bulk of problematic & insulting posts come from on youtube, for example. On news sites, however, the people posting are likely older than the bullying YouTube crowd, but I feel like the people who make the most heinous claims are the ones that only have the internet as an outlet. They don't vote; they don't participate in their communities; they just want attention.

That's what it seems like to me, at least.

Pardon my rambling thoughts a bit. I decided to just answer the question instead of setting up a video outline like I have done in the past.

I think Reeses hit the conundrum on the head with her example of the homosexual young man who may want to post on a DOMA article but not disclose his sexuality yet. This is a great example of why we cannot force identity discolosure on all accounts.

I think there are mechanisms in place that can get people kicked off of sites if their comments are flagged as inappropriate or offensive. Perhaps this is the job of the communications specialists and the online marketing managers to ensure their sites are being respected. Yet responsibility does lie with us whose fingers are on the keys.

Maybe we need Ethics on the Internet courses. That sounds like something that exists already, doesn't it?

Short & sweet. I let my mind explore this topic more on the video.

Subject: Re: Out of touch with reality?

Forum: Out of touch with reality?

Note: at about 1:50 I said "you don't want to kiss anybody's toucus." I think this is also a notable buzzing in the video. It is raining right now, and the piano is being played. I am not sure about the buzzing, but I hope you can make it through the 3 minutes.

That said, my main advice is to remain firm and try to work with her on accommodating both of your schedules. It sounds to me like she is doing that thing that people will do sometimes where they don't make following their path to success any easier for others. I have encountered that in performance, and I find it very unprofessional and selfish.

Academia is a tough world to deal with this because (see above)...you don't want to kiss anybody's toucus to get where you want to be, but it seems like they want you to sometimes.

I would advise, although this may seem less diplomatic, to go above their heads and petition to get a raise for the hours you are working. You are doing the work, and you deserve to be compensated. They cannot cancel a class mid-semester. They obviously need your knowledge and skills. In a sense, you are irreplaceable to them. They need to realize that and work with you because you are a valuable asset.

It can be a double edged sword to go above people's heads like this because it can create tension or garner respect for knowing what you deserve and getting it. Either way, it is up to what dynamic you think will fair you best in your situation. Only you will know that.

I sincerely wish you the best for the rest of the semester. Congratulations on your win today! I hope that your thesis and meeting with this woman gets figured out sooner than later.

Cheers!

Subject: Re: One Foot in Two Worlds

Forum: One Foot in Two Worlds

The buzzing is still there in this video. I will have to figure out what that is. It seems to stop when I am not speaking. Maybe it's a mic issue.

@D2D I dared to dream, and I got in! Thank you for your support on these forums about my auditions and for being such a lovely person. Your strength really comes through in your posts, and thank you for sharing that with me.

@OurBoiLu Thank you for weighing on my forum. Welcome! I hope you stick around. Your words of wisdom were nice to hear. I am doing my best to figure out what parts of everything in which I am interested that I really want to pursue.

@Loren Still sending you love & positive energy. I hope you are well. Yeah, duck penis. Nothing wrong with sex and wine, together or separately. Thank you for the push towards my passions. The deadlines for everything are happening right now, and I am doing my best to open as many opportunities for myself as I can. I am finding, however, that I do complete apps for things I really want to do and don't finish ones I don't truly care about. The final minutes to deadline always show the truth.

@Alex you are such a talented mamma-jamma! I love hearing about all the things you have done in your past and what lead you to where you are now. You are a great example to me of how sometimes I can have a lot of different balls in the air and other times it is important to focus. I am just figuring out exactly how to center my focus right now.

@bear thanks for the laugh about the ducks. The Beavis voice gets me every time. I definitely went to school with a kid that looked like Beavis. It was bizarre because he wasn't a bad looking guy. Kinda cute actually, but Beavis-like. ANYWAY...you have helped me realize the triumph I have accomplished on CNet & off. You bring an amazing energy hear, and I can feel how truly happy & excited for me you are! It really means a lot. You're right I am not quitting my day job. I was even on time this week! Your final longer portion was so poignant and touching. I am living for the experiences right now: moment to moment. I am just happy that I am making my dreams happen so far!

Thank you all SO MUCH! I cannot believe I actually got into The Conservatory, but I am so happy that I did!

I cannot wait to keep you updated on what happens next! AAWWWWW YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!

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