♦Sheillala♦'s Page > Posts tagged with "relationships"


Subject: Re: Best Friend Relationship

Forum: Best Friend Relationship
In my mind, I picture myself being best friends with the man I settle down with. That's what a sturdy relationship should be based on anyway, all of those things we appreciate our best friends for, then of course the perks of being lovers too. In most opposite sex best-friend-type relationships, one person is usually secretly wanting more, however, sometimes crossing those lines with your best friend tends to create problems that you didn't have before as far as expectations go. It changes everything. Both parties would have to feel equally about the changes in order for a romantic relationship to form from the friendship. To be completely honest, I don't think I could let myself get romantically involved with a man who already has a woman "best friend," unless he is willing to let that friend go down a notch or two...not saying completely end their friendship, but I would expect him to be into me and become my best friend. How could someone settle with someone who has a ridiculously close friendship with someone other than you, of the opposite sex? Something I've always wondered. I actually think it is unhealthy to maintain a strong friendship with a friend who you may be in love with if feelings aren't returned. A person would only set themselves up for a repeat of heartbreaks every time the friend becomes involved with someone new.

Subject: Re: Cheating?

Forum: Cheating?
I just wanted to take a moment to respond since I said I would share my views too. Never in my life, until recently, have I enjoyed single-hood. It is so refreshing. Don't get me wrong, but I would love for the perfect person FOR ME to come into my life, but if not, I'm not going to force it. I think once you are cheated on by someone you love, even though you are so hurt, angry, disgusted, etc; you want to forgive them because you have come to love and care for this person soooooo much and they just totally took your trust for granted. Every ounce of pride you have/had is out the window...temporarily; you can get that back eventually :-). I hold no opinions or judgments as far as what anyone else would do, but when I was cheated on, I even tried to tell myself "He's not perfect, he is a man and has weaknesses," which to some extent is true...but WE ALL have weaknesses. It's like "do you think there is no one else out there who has hit on me, even during very vulnerable points in our relationship, and that I haven't thought for a quick second about taking them up on their offer?" But I didn't, because I knew I made a commitment to someone else; it may not have been marriage, but how can you marry someone you don't trust anyway? Another reason why I gave things consideration is because we have children together. I look at Hilary and Bill and wonder how she does it, then I wonder does she just have the true meaning of love in her...why would she let some tramp ruin the relationship she has had with her husband for so many years. So, I'm up in the air on this one. Maybe if we had been together for a lot of years, like Hilary and Bill, I could let things slide...ONCE! I have this problem where I forgive, but I would never forget (like most of us do), so in order to gain my trust back...Good Luck!

Subject: Internet dating...what do you think?

Forum: Internet dating...what do you think?

What are your thoughts and opinions? Do you or anyone you know have a fairytale story about online dating? What do you think the odds are of finding true love online?

Subject: Re: Do People Naturally Fall In Love?

Forum: Do People Naturally Fall In Love?
Chemistry has got to be there from the beginning. Most of my experiences have turned out to be that either the physical attraction was there, but nothing else, or everything else but the physical attraction. When you find that someone when all of it is there, I think that is true love...at least that's what I hope to have one day. If not, I refuse to settle for less; that would only end in disaster. But yeah, to answer the question, I'd say it has to come naturally...not forced. I do also think that sometimes people fall in love with the idea of love...that's why you have to really get to know someone before putting it all on the line :-).

Subject: Cheating?

Forum: Cheating?
All about cheating...Could you forgive your spouse/significant other if they cheated? What is considered cheating to you? Does the thought of it terrify and disgust you? What is truly important in a relationship to you? Would you give a second chance, at least the consideration, depending on if you have children or not? Are there any "excuses" that could get your partner/spouse off the hook? If things ended because of cheating, could you be friends after? Do men and women cheat for different reasons? Once a cheater, always a cheater? I'll comment on this later...I like to see what people think first.

Subject: Re: Feminism

Forum: Feminism
Feminism...I'm not sure I would call myself a feminist, but I'll say, once again, that I believe in equality. The last place I worked, all of the men made more money than the women. I wonder, though Nii Art, why you don't think that women in the work force work as hard as men? What else is funny, not trying to attack you here, so please don't take me the wrong way, but you said "Girls want equal rights and the same pay as a man..." I noticed you said it like it was girl vs man??? That hit me a little bit creepily...almost like you might subconsciously think females are inferior. Girls vs boys, girls vs guys, women vs men, females vs males...see what I'm saying; when comparing the opposite sex, you can't compare a girl to a man. Neither sex is inferior, there are many strengths and weaknesses about either sex. Anyway, I know you probably didn't mean to, but I have to disagree because a lot of times (not all times) women work just as hard, or harder in some cases, than men and are compensated less. Besides working hard in the work force, a lot of times it's women who take care of the domestic stuff too. I love being a woman, I love taking care of my children and other responsibilities, but sometimes we have too much on our plates and don't get the credit or respect we deserve. Also, just because I want to be treated equally doesn't mean that I mind being treated nicely or gently. Opening doors and offering the "ladies first" cuts to me is sweet. Just because you know that you are a strong woman and that you deserve some dignity as well as respect, doesn't mean that you have to have your lady privileges taken away! As far as man/woman relationships go, I think men and women compliment one another. I like having my femininity and I like a man to have his masculinity. I agree with you, cmybird, the world needs both sexes!

Subject: Re: Why is being gay wrong?

Forum: Why is being gay wrong?
I'm not sure that being "gay" is wrong. I think there are different reasons why people are gay. Here's why I say that...some people, I believe are born like that (perhaps a gene), some have encountered sexual abuse as a child, some people have feelings of resentment towards the opposite sex, some people have had bad or non-existent relationships with their parents, and sometimes, yes, I think influence plays a role in someone's sexuality. Influence plays a role in a lot of things. So, I guess we'll never know until we have studied enough gay marriages or how a couple being gay affects the children being raised within these types of relationships.

People did/do think that interracial relationships are wrong. To me a man is a man and a woman is a woman. I often wonder what makes up the "white" race exactly? Is it just a color? I believe that since my children, being of mixed races, have that influence that comes from me...I teach them that all people are created equally. So, in turn, maybe they will end up with someone of a different race...maybe they'll even be gay?

Do I think being gay is a choice? Sometimes, sometimes not. Some homosexual people are comfortable, some I think go a little out of the way for the attention and controversy, and there are others try to hide it because they are uncomfortable with it. For the people who are uncomfortable with it, that to me signifies that they don't like it and it's hard for them to be who they are in that way, so therefore, it must not be a choice.

I don't think people's sexuality is really any of anyone's business; as long as the sex between the parties involved is consensual. Why does sexual orientation define who we are? There is so much more to a person than their sexuality. So, who knows. If it is wrong in the eyes of God, let God deal with it. I don't say that about just any subject, but just being homosexual isn't hurting anyone!