fa1th3rs's Page > Posts tagged with "people"


Subject: Re: Always ordering the same thing at a restaurant?

Forum: Always ordering the same thing at a restaurant?
It always depends. I'm usually pretty decisive about what I want as far as flavors/how rich things are goes. Sometimes I see an item on the menu that's a safe item and tell myself "try this new thing that sounds interesting" and when the waiter comes around I accidentally order the chicken fingers like a toddler. Am I disappointed that I didn't branch out? Yes. Do I still enjoy the chicken fingers? You betcha.

We have our local spot that we go to for brunch or a burger. Dates nights we try to find something new and will go out of our way to do it.

Subject: Re: Do you believe in fate?

Forum: Do you believe in fate?
I don't believe in fate necessarily. Sometimes things fall into place or people meet each other and the outcome is so great that it seems it was meant to happen, but then there are those unexpected circumstances or freak accidents that I rather doubt were planned by a higher power.

I believe that everyone's life is like a choose-your-own-adventure story. For every event there are several ways we could choose to react. This is the same for every individual involved in that event so the number of possible outcomes grows exponentially with each individual. Humans are comfort-seekers and develop habits easily so one can usually predict how something plays out, but mathematically the possibilities are endless.

Sometimes believing this way makes a lot of endeavors seem really futile, or makes me feel a little powerless. But when I see good things happen to me or people in my life it makes me especially grateful because I know I'm no more or less entitled to them than anyone else. Just lucky!

Subject: Re: Are your posts worth $8.75?

Forum: Are your posts worth $8.75?
This is such a good post and so relevant for me because I am in the very beginning phases if starting my own side business and am trying to justify my pricing. It's easy enough to calculate the cost of materials and decide to add a dollar or two on to the final price. What's tricky is justifying how much your time is worth and feeling confident that people will agree with your valuation of yourself as a resource.

To get paid roughly $8 for a well researched and valid thesis is setting the bar sort of low and I wouldn't recommend settling for that HD you make a career out of writing.

However, when I'm posting on Cnet I don't always do a thorough job. Sometimes people have some challenging, insightful forums and other days we're just asking each other what our favorite color is. So I think the scales tend to become a bit more balanced when you consider how often you write fluff versus solid content.

Thanks for the forum, I'm looking forward to seeing other people's responses!

Subject: Rage!

Forum: Rage!
I don't really consider myself to have road rage but there are a few bad driving practices that push me to the limits. For instance: tailgating, driving below the speed limit or driving slow in any lane other than that far right, and misuse of blinkers. Especially when someone forgets to turn it off and you're following behind them for miles unsure if you can safely pass.

Do you have issues with road rage or have any experiences from others? What do you do in response to drivers that drive you crazy?

Subject: Re: When it comes to harassment, what is your role?

Forum: When it comes to harassment, what is your role?
I think it's beyond time we started listening to women (and men!) who come forward with allegations of sexual assault/harassment and take action to investigate the perpetrators, not cast doubt on the motives of survivors. The latter attitude was so pervasive for so long it allowed men, especially men with any sort of power, to act inappropriately without being checked and made generations of women feel that their safety was not as important as letting men think they were funny. We cannot be truly equal until our right to feel safe everywhere is upheld and respected.

I have definitely been guilty of supporting rape culture. Whether it was passing judgment in the past of women who come forward with claims and then settle, or not telling guys who say sexist or lewd things that they are wrong, my inaction in those sort of situations has facilitated these actors to continue to infringe on my rights and discourage women from standing up for themselves and I am not proud of that.

I am happy to see that there is such a tremendous outpouring of support for survivors and whistleblowers. It gives me hope in an otherwise dismal political environment that our attitudes are changing and people are not tolerating offensive and reckless behavior anymore.

Subject: What did you say?

Forum: What did you say?
My boss kept trying to use the word "allocate" in a meeting with the staff of doctors and instead made up a word: "alloquat".

At first I thought I nodded off but then she did it AGAIN, and nearly ALL the doctors did the same. I just sat there thinking "everyone in this room has a masters and/or a PhD. There's no way I can tell them they are using a made up word". But I wanted to SO BADLY!

Have you ever been in a situation where someone kept using a word that was either conjugated wrong or simply not a real word? Do you correct people or do you feel bad doing it?

Subject: Being Paid to Get Sterilized

Forum: Being Paid to Get Sterilized
I just saw a brief video on Vice about Project Prevention, an organization that offers monetary incentives to addicts and coordinates them with physicians who will either equip them with long-term birth control (IUD) or sterilization. As an adoptive mother of 4 children born from the same mother, Barbara Harris believes that her work is saving other children from the possible suffering of cognitive delays, withdrawals, placement in foster care, etc. as well

There are others who believe that what she is doing is bordering on eugenics as the majority of men and women who take advantage of her services are people of color. It's also highlighted that being an addict doesn't mean you should be denied bodily autonomy or the ability to have children when you get sober.

While I can certainly sympathize with those who believe Ms. Harris is preying on addicts, who themselves are often lifelong victims of institutionalized racism, I find myself siding more closely with Harris. I worked for many years with an adoption attorney and at least half the children placed were born to mothers who conceived while high or drunk and continued to use throughout their pregnancy, despite having access to counseling or rehabilitation services at no cost. While it's not always possible to tell if hard drugs caused cognitive or emotional issues (since the birth mothers may have the genetic link to those disorders) there is no denying the physical and mental consequences of alcohol exposure to the fetus. While our country still has privatized healthcare, it's nearly impossible for children born with these conditions to have access to medical care and therapy unless they are with a family that has the flexibility and the money to take care of them.

I would refine her approach to make it equally as attractive to opt for long-term birth-control in order to promote the idea of rehabilitation. Maybe set them up with a social worker or other qualified professionals to get them on the road to recover should they accept.

Where do you stand? Do you believe Harris is helping or promoting the damage of racist practices?

Subject: Self-Help Gurus

Forum: Self-Help Gurus
One of my friends keeps sending me links to videos from motivational speakers or suggesting "self-help" books to me that she's been reading. For her she claims it has helped her to look inward and address some habits/attitudes she possesses and doesn't care for.

Generally speaking I feel that there's nothing new to learn from these types of sources. They're probably giving you the same advice your parents or best friends have given you but it's in a format you'd prefer so you're more receptive to the message.

I have read psychiatric papers on things like trauma, attachment, and mood disorders and to me these are far more helpful because they are based on empirical evidence as well as anecdotal evidence. These help us to understand how sometimes our biology or chemistry could be working against us and ways to combat negativity.

Do you read or listen to motivation speakers? Are there any you have found influential or helpful in your experience?

Subject: Re: Should Circumcision be Banned?

Forum: Should Circumcision be Banned?
This is an issue that I've never really considered but you certainly raise some important concerns. As you've pointed out surgeries always open the patient to the risk of infection and in children without a strong immune system this could prove fatal.

It's interesting that the same reasons there was public/moral outrage over female circumcision are largely overlooked or dismissed when it pertains to male circumcision. Perhaps the implication with females is that it's meant to deny them sexual satisfaction in order to keep them "pure" because it is believed they will lack sexual desire whereas with males it isn't meant to curb their libido but borne out of a cultural practice probably meant to make hygiene easier on the female caretaker.

I don't know if parents are fully advised of the potential complications of circumcision but if they are not they should certainly be advised. In order to get a full ban there would probably end up being a Supreme Court case involved since the freedom of religion is involved. Perhaps it would involve a religious exemption wherein the parents can be charged in the event of the child's death should the procedure go wrong but otherwise not be punished for a successful operation done out of religious observance.

I'm definitely curious to hear male input on this.

Subject: Re: Should Public colleges be free?

Forum: Should Public colleges be free?
Yes- for state residents. I have been a resident of NYS my entire life, been paying taxes since I was a teenager, and yet I had to fund my own education at a public NYS college. What sense does that make? Where the hell do my tax dollars go? (Since we also have terrible infrastructure and still haven't implemented Medicare for all!)

Tuition prices are overall too expensive. If we reduce the price of admission we will increase the amount of applications. This means that only the most qualified will be going to pursue higher education, and certainly the ones who want to go will be able to go to school and get an education for free. The rest can do what many of us do regardless of our degrees: take a civil service exam, learn a trade, start our own small business. And those who either can't get into college because they lack the aptitude or the initiative will be able to provide for themselves and their families without the burden of student loan debt. That's the way things were for our parents, that's the way it should have stayed but we over-glorified higher education just for the sake of paper and created the student-debt crisis as a result of our collective egos.