erinb0317's Profile > Messages Posted


Subject: Big decisions and gratification.

Forum: Big decisions and gratification.
I'm in the process of making a big decision. I guess life can seem like it's full of them sometimes. Maybe that's just me- I think I may get in this weird "big decision" mode whereby everything seems to become a big decision- what I want to eat in the morning, my shower schedule, the duration of which my time is being consumed by the elevator, what kind of long-term ramifications, the pros and cons, and the general consequences each of these little things have. It's very weird, I assure you.

Anyways. So, this particular big decision also has me questioning my motivations. There are pros and cons to both sides and some of them are shared or reactionary to each other. What it basically boils down to, either situation would prove favorably for me financially, but one more than the other. To make matters more complicated- the one that would be more financially benefitting to me, may make me slightly uncomfortable for a while but will pay off in the future. The other I would be more enabled to be comfortable right now but the long term financial gain would be cut in half.

It's kind of awful- like having the short term vs. the long term gratification in opposite ways. In one scenario, I'd be physically sort of uncomfortable in the near future but it would allow me better financial comfort in the long run whereas the other scenario grants physical comfort in the near future without the long term financial relief. Mind boggling stuff.

What would you do? Would you say you are motivated with the long term when making a big decision? consider perhaps the last large appliance or cell phone you got- did you spend a little more because it was top of the line or you thought you'd get something because it was on sale? At what point- if at any- have both those things become a factor and what won you over?

Subject: Re: Going On Strike to Not Pay for My Student Loans

Forum: Going On Strike to Not Pay for My Student Loans
Admittedly, I'm exhausted and lazy and totally didn't look at the article- just putting that out there. But I do think it is an interesting idea.

Primarily, I agree with you- I think that school is an intentional debt and even when it doesn't really work out, you should respect that it was your choice to take that on. Like you, I went to a sort of expensive school and I really did take on too much in order to finish my MA- if I were able to go back in time, certainly I think I might do things a bit differently, but even so, I'm stuck with what I'm stuck with and now, it's nose to the grindstone- it's going to be around for a while.

I do however, think that there are many things that could and should change about the way we do the college thing. In some ways, I think the way college is administrated and the cost at which it operates should really be evaluated. I guess in some ways, I think it's similar to the healthcare industry- the cost should be understood from the onset and I wish there were more options. Really and truly- the interest rate is way too high. I get that college is a business, but I think it should be an institute for knowledge before it's a business.

Subject: Re: Tips for improving your credit score.

Forum: Tips for improving your credit score.
I've been working on my credit score as well. I think you really hit all the big points. It takes a lot of time and it's something you sort of have to stay on top of and simply do your best to stay conscience of.

I kind of screwed up really bad, really early on. I took out too much on credit and I was able to afford it. I defaulted on a lease because I had terrible room mates. I mean you name it- I screwed it up. It all pretty much happened right away so I've basically been building my credit ever since.

I'm back on track but even still, it takes alot of time to build. Right now, I'm trying to pay down my credit cards, trying to win some money on Cnet for school loan debt, and just sort of hang back- no new inquiries, no big purchases, no screw ups. Credit cards make it hard too- I'm liable to throw some things on the card when things are tight which makes paying em off even harder. Money can be tough sometimes. Eventually we will get our awesome scores for our houses- just gotta keep at it!

Subject: Re: You can't wear that.

Forum: You can't wear that.
I don't know- I both have a tendency to say whatever goes, but admit that I'm fairly conservative- and more importantly, practical- in my style of dress. I really don't go out of my way to be revealing or in any kind of discomfort- yeah, high heels can be cute and all but I would much rather be scuffing around in mocassins anyday.

I've done alot of work on my self image- I think feeling good about yourself does impact how you do what you do- I can wear a bikini if it's appropriate just the same as I don't go out of my way to wear a bikini though either. When it's cold I suit up- I bundle up and that's okay.

I have a couple things that I've had for many, many years. Everyonce in a while, I will break out the pair of jeans I've had since I was 16 just cause- I mean, damn! I can still manage a pair of jeans I've had for 13 years and they are shredded but they are so comfortable and I still fit in them. I mean, seriously?!

What it really should always boil down to- is it decent or appropriate to wear for what I'm doing or where I'm going and most importantly, am I comfortable?

Subject: Re: Do you still own anything from 90s?

Forum: Do you still own anything from 90s?
I definitely have a sort of deep attachment to my stuff but there's something kind of strange about it- I have few and small things from my childhood and the stuff I've accumulated in the past several years still has a similar sentimentality. I've moved so many, many places and along the way, there's been alot of stuff I've let go of so the things I have I've carefully honed- many of my things I've gotten from my Grandad, or collected over the years.

I think I've become particularly attached to my things over the years- I think it has alot to do with the fact that I have moved so very many times. The things I have reflect my idea of home, give me a sense of comfort, and even reflect a sense of identity- my history. It takes some work- I've reupholstered and refinished my whole couch which was my Grandfathers- a gift he received at his wedding was what I was told.

I'm in the process of getting rid of a few things around the house and it can be hard sometimes, but I'm definitely making progress.

Subject: Re: Too close for comfort...

Forum: Too close for comfort...
Thanks for your responses guys- it's both comforting to know that there are other people who simply don't have the means to stack up the savings the way the experts say we should but also really discomforting to know that there are people living with the same stress of living paycheck to paycheck. It's hard! Sometimes being an adult sucks and I wish that no one with the right attitude and determination had to suffer it- we should have more! But I guess that has a part to do with why we're all here... Anyway- on to your responses!

Lissette- I think you're right- it's courage. I think so many of us are accustomed to sort of hiding our finances and that in and of itself, kind of sucks. It's embarrassing but there's nothing I can do about it. I do my best but I make what I make and try to get by. In some ways, although I realize that it's a valuable lesson for everyone to learn, it gets so old.

MoMo- just like you, in times like these when I can't seem to scrape together pennies to put in savings, I have to remember my blessings- I have a TV. I have a computer. I have my two beautiful pets. And even better than $50- I managed to get out of the grocery store a little under what I expected- so $80! A little cushion is better than nothing.

BROKENINOK- Geez, I can't imagine getting paid once a month. I get paid every two weeks which I think is perfect for me- space between rent vs. other payments. I think I could manage with one payment but it'd be so tough. I was hoping for the "tax cushion" this year, but my taxes were less than half what I expected. I'm also doing the thing where I'm trying to get rid of all the debt, all the interest- it's going to take a while and certainly- anything to do with interest including student loan debt seems like a huge rip off.

Subject: Re: Easter

Forum: Easter
I have sort of weird love for Easter. I love what it symbolizes- the rebirth of things, the official start of spring, joy with family, great food-- usually ham. The way my family usually celebrates sort of changes throughout the years-- doing an Easter Egg hunt is way different for a six year-old than it is for a bunch of twenty-thirty somethings. We usually do a great meal, and sometimes we'll color eggs, but by and large, Easter has become yet another excuse for us all to get together and just enjoy.

But I think there's some things that are really weird about Easter for me- and I expect it would be the same for so many other secular families in America. It seems like we're overlooking something. Like Christmas, Easter is built on a religion and a magnificently symbolic day. A couple years ago, my family was having a conversation concerning Palm Sunday- it was surprising to me, a secular non-believer, that most of my family didn't know what that day was about. (In case you also don't know- Palm Sunday is the day Jesus rode back into Jerusalem riding a donkey- he was waved on with palm fronds before he was imprisoned and crucified.) I don't know why and I think there's also something wrong with me in that I think this way- but it seems strange in some ways. I love that we find a way to celebrate but in some ways, I just wonder why it's got to be on a particular day when you don't really abide by the symbolism. It makes things complicated- splitting up holidays, coordinating schedules- hey, we like Easter but does it *actually* have to be on Easter if we're not *actually* celebrating the things Easter is associated with? Can we do one Easter at one place and another Easter on a completely different day with other people? And more importantly- when did the rabbit get involved? I'm going to have to google that...

Subject: Re: There is no perfect title for this/please read

Forum: There is no perfect title for this/please read
I think there continues to be a lot of stigma surrounding mental and behavioral disorders. It is saddening and to me it seems something better could and should be done about it. I recently made a forum- it flopped- but it concerned the way the media is dealing with the issue of mental illness concerning the German plane crash.

Anyway- to get to your topic. Like goober said- it is always shattering and frightening to lose someone to such a terrible sadness. It makes you question your actions, your inactions, and the motivations of humanity. I've lost loved ones to it and it always causes me to think the same questions- is there something I could have done? Is there some kind of help that could have prevented this?

Sadly, I don't think there are really answers to these questions. Every person is different and everyone responds differently to what they have going on- a person may simply want their space to work things out whereas others will need people around them and sometimes that changes. Basically- one thing may help a person while the same thing may make it worse for another and then really- I think it becomes a problem that even some of the best professionals have a difficult time addressing.

Though I've never been officially diagnosed, I have struggled throughout my life with depression. I've attempted treatment a couple times and I really didn't make great gains when I did- it just always turns out to be something I need to work through and I think alot of it can be situational or circumstantial- certainly, the past few years haven't been really easy for me. Though I don't think I ever could-- I know I have far too much live for-- there have certainly been times when I was down enough to think "I don't wanna do this anymore" just getting out of bed. It's not fun. I try to simply get through it and look to better times, spend time with friends, and just generally do whatever I need to, to get out of the funk I'm in.

Subject: Re: How to Tel if Somebody Loves You

Forum: How to Tel if Somebody Loves You
Just the other day I was responding to Goober's forum about spiritual highs and I sort of touched on the subject- lately, I have been feeling really loved and it has in effect given me a sort of spiritual high.

My beau sent me a message the other day suggesting we get my nephew a 3D printer. Without a really long story, I'll simply sum up and say that I love my nephew and I would do anything for him. I was just kind of taken back by the message though- my beau had given this alot of thought. He considered advancing technology, the passions of my small nephew, and learning- it would be an incredible gift and the fact that my beau thinks of my nephew- it just sort of hit home. We're going to start working on a bunk bed for the little guy together next week. We've also been talking alot about moving in together and I'm incredibly nervous about all of it- when expressing my doubts, my fears, and my hopes he's just really comforting. He's already done a ton of work to clean and make room for me, make me comfortable. I guess I hadn't realized just how much he loves me til these last couple weeks- it's pretty awesome.

Aside from recent romantic love- there are so many things. My sisters periodically send me messages. Everyone went out of their way for me and to celebrate my birthday with me- there were dinners and brunches and parades even- just awesome. I even finally checked into facebook- I don't use it very often anymore- and I was surprised to find how many people sent me well wishes, happy birthday messages and the like. Lately I'm definitely feeling the love :)

Subject: Too close for comfort...

Forum: Too close for comfort...
Today I will be drafting a check to my landlord for the rent and going grocery shopping to get a few things for the week. These expenditures will basically exhaust my bank account until I get paid again next Thursday. I imagine when I'm done I will have about $50 to my name until I get paid again.

This is a lot closer than I luck to cut it, budgetarily speaking. Sadly, it seems more often than not, it comes down to this. There are certain savings guidelines- for instance, I've heard that you should have three months worth of bills and expenditures saved and stashed away just in case- that gives you enough room if something minor happens with your car or if something majorly catastrophic happens like losing your job. I like this guideline in theory, but it's a whole lot harder in practice for me- I cut things so close every month that having that kind of savings seems a sort of wonderland.

Certainly, things could be worse- when I get in situations like this I have to remember that $50 is better than being in the red, and really, there isn't anything I absolutely need- there's food in my fridge and in my pets belly's, I have plenty of toilet paper, and generally I get by even though there are times that are stressful.

What, to you, is too close for comfort when it comes to the budget? Do you have savings set aside for the just in case scenarios? Is there anything you do that helps you to set aside money- even when there are tight times?

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