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    Dating

    created by Lovelygirl23 144 days 18 hours 26 minutes ago

    Category: Education

    Dating

    Hello College Net,

    This is a bit if a personal question. I am currently in college and I want to wait to date until I graduate college and I am financially stable. My family disagrees with me and believes I should be dating.

    Should I wait until I graduate and am stable financially to date or should I date now? Please explain why you think I should wait or go ahead and date. Did you guys wait or you guys already dating?

    I would love to hear you guys feedback,

    Thank you

    Re: Dating

    Hey Cholmes23,

    Welcome to Cnet :)

    I personally, never been on a date before because the right guy still hasn't shown up in my life but I'm using this time to get things done as far as college and focusing on myself. You mentioned that you want to be financially stable to date but there are a lot of inexpensive was to date. You don't have to go to a fancy restaurant to date, You could have a picnic with a homemade meal at a nice park or even go to your favorite ice cream place(These are just examples). I'm still in college now but if the opportunity comes, then I will be happy to take it because I'm a DIY person who loves being creative and I'm a bit on the natural side.

    If you don't want to date because you want to focus more on your education, then that's fine but if you're doing it because you don't think you're financially stable, then there are other ways to date on a budget. If you need any ideas, you can go search DIY dating ideas on youtube which you can get so many inexpensive ideas.

    Have fun and please don't give up a good opportunity but let it come to you :)

    Thanks for the forum and have a great day!

    -Unique

    Re: Dating

    Hi Cholmes23,

    I was in a similar situation as you are in high school. I was told my a youth pastor that I still totally respect that no one should date in high school. He said since he was once a high school boy, that he knows exactly what the boys want and most of us girls are either not old enough or not strong enough to handle the situation. I turned down many dates during my first three years of high school because of this. However, one of my really good friends and I just started dating in November of our senior year. It just sort of happened. We have known each other for a long time, and both belong to the Christian club at our school.

    So I guess I will say go ahead and make lots of friends of both genders, and date someone or not as you and he feel . Like Unique says, there are lots of things to do that are either free or cheap, and spending time together is the most important thing.

    Good luck!

    Kasey

    Re: Dating

    Hello Cholmes23,

    I have learned in life that you need to do things that make you happy. If waiting to date till you are graduated and financially stable then I say do it! I am waiting because I find that I can focus more on accomplishing my aspirations. My family always ask if I have a boyfriend or if I am seeing anyone when I come home to visit. I personally just think they are worried I will be lonely. The thing is I am independent. I can tell you are too by knowing that you want to be in a finical stable situation before going into a relationship. It is hard hearing family's opinion because we tend to care about their opinion the most. I say have your own mind and do what you want. A family is supposed to support you and if not know that I will no matter which you chose.

    Thank you,

    Celeste

    Re: Dating

    Hey!

    I think you are wise to think about finances. My uncle gave me similar advice. It is expensive to get married, etc. But like the others said, there are plenty of cheap options for while you are dating.

    One thing though, my aunt never really dated while getting multiple degrees. She studied too hard and didn't play enough. She now regrets that she was so hard-core. So while it is very important to keep your grades up and do well, make sure you also have fun. But remember the whole reason why you are in college: to get your degree.

    As far as what Kasey said, dating in high school can have its challenges. What will happen when one or both of you move away/ go to college? Some people do just fine with that, but for others it ends their relationships. So you have to keep that in mind while in high school.

    Thanks for the forum! I'm sure you'll make the right decisions!

    Java

    Re: Dating

    Hey Cholmes23,

    Welcome to CNET! I will say that I think everyone so far brought up a lot of good points. I also think that you should do what you would like. Your family is probably thinking about the extreme like Java said where education can be all of your young adult life, and if you miss out on some experiences, you may have regrets later. However, as someone with past experience on the other end (an ex S.O.), depending on if the relationship is good for you or not, it may derail your educational goals.

    I think the key here is balance if you do decide to date, as well as making sure that you are still prioritizing your educational goals. I think it is great that you are thinking very practically about your finances. I do not think there is enough emphasis on this and the importance of building credit and savings in young adult life. My husband and I are currently working on our finances, but we also support each other's educational and professional goals.

    There is a lot to consider, but you seem like you have thought a lot about this. I'm sure you will make the right decision! Just keep on focusing on your goals, while also being open to finding the right person!

    Have a great day!

    - dymphie

    Re: Dating

    Hello CNet,
    Thank you guys for all the interesting concepts. I will wait to have a relationship but I will have fun in between. Also, Thank you Unique_girl17 for suggesting to use DIYs when going on dates. I will definitely keep that in mind.

    Thank you guys

    Re: Dating

    I would say that you should stick to your original plan of waiting to date until you're done with college. Not only does that make more sense, as you'll be more financially stable, but it'll give you more time for your studies and homework. It almost sounds like your family believes that college is also the place to find a husband or wife. They may not have said it, but if they're putting such a demand on you to date, then it makes me wonder. You do what you think is best for you.

    I myself have been in a similar situation. I have never had a boyfriend, as I am currently devoting my time to my studies, as I'm in graduate school and I need to get good grades in order to advance and graduate the program. I've had relatives ask me if I have a boyfriend yet, as compared to my younger sister, I've never been on the dating scene. They would tell me that I should have a boyfriend, but I'm just not available at the moment. Not to mention, there are zero to few boys in my program, so you can imagine how my chances are pretty slim to none. I purposely got a shirt that says "No Boyfriend, No Problem", and I will gladly wear it if my relatives come over, ha ha! I hope this helps, and have a great day!

    Re: Dating

    You should definitely date, as long as they are understanding and accepting of your current situation and responsibilities. Life is too short to go by a timeline and it’s also great to have someone to share your accomplishments and struggles with!

    You could be missing out on someone who could help compliment you greatly because it didn’t fit in the specified timeline.

    The right person will motivate you and share your goals with you! If they don’t, they’re not the right person.

    I met my husband when I could have sworn I wasn’t going to date anyone for a while and the rest has been history. He’s my best friend, we are rocking out our goals together and we have two beautiful, wonderful baby girls. Life is beautiful !

    Thanks,
    Morgan

    Re: Dating

    Hey,

    Dating while in college is needed to some extent. I think it’s part of life experience and you would generate more life prospects. Dating helps you grow and see things you normally wouldn’t understand if you are single. It’s an opportunity to discover things you don’t like and things that are important to you.

    Have a wonderful day!

    -Muka

    Re: Dating

    Howdy Chomes23,

    I can say it is quite mature and thoughtful of you to think that you should wait to date until graduation and is financially stable. This surely shows that you want to find a serious, long-lasting relationship, which is our ultimate goal.

    With that being said, however, I think you should open the possibility of dating while in college, rather than close it completely. Here are why:

    First, dating, if not eventually successful, will at least give you some valuable lessons that will eventually helps you to be a better person for your future mate.

    Second, you will get to experience different perspectives from different types of people. This helps you a lot to make a good decision to see which type of mate would best fit you in the future.

    Last but not least, if you are so lucky that you can find a true mate during college, you will get to see how much can your love endure. The moment you graduate is the moment you are at your worst (financially), which can play a role in determining whether your date can go through all challenges with you. If he/she does, then congratulations, you have found your true love! If not, the future is still open for opportunities, so no worries!

    Thanks for reading,

    Have a wonderful day!

    - Kevin -