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    Leaving the nest

    created by Policy Maker 5 days 15 hours 16 minutes ago

    Category: World

    Leaving the nest

    Hey guys

    How old were you when you left home for good? How old were you when your parents stopped paying for your living expenses?

    If you haven't left yet, when do you plan to leave and completely be independent?

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hello Policy Maker,

    I actually still live with my parents and don't plan to move out unless I have to attend a far away college or of course get married:). I enjoy living with my family and slightly disagree with the american concept that moving out teaches kids independence. It could of course teach independence, but not all the time. I personally had a friend who moved out, but continued to get financial support from her parents and friends since she was short on money some months.

    I am living with my parents mainly to help them out. My parent's English isn't that great so I often help them with filling out paperwork, making doctor appointment, paying the bills and things like that. I try to support them financially as well by paying off some of the rent and utility and even the down payment to our current home. In fact, one of the reasons I was so desperate for a job is to help them financially since they barely make above minimum income. I definitely think people could be independent living at home or outside. The main idea is to try to take responsibility and help yourself while helping others if possible.

    Ps, I missed your $10,000 Cnet forum. I had already used my 5 posts when I saw it. But I just wanted to share this with you from the official rules:

    "The number of Open Award scholarships to be awarded will be determined by dividing the Aggregate Amount by $300 and rounding down to the nearest whole number. For example, if the Aggregate Amount equals $3,000, the number of Open Award scholarships to be awarded in that Open Award Cycle will be 10 (3,000 divided by 300 = 10). If the Aggregate Amount equals $10,000, the number of Open Award scholarships to be awarded in that Open Award Cycle will be 33 (10,000 divided by 300 = 33.33, rounded down to 33). Any amount remaining after dividing the Aggregate Amount by 300 will not be awarded."

    So my understanding is that a person is awarded 33 times with a total of 9900 dollars to not exceed the limit.

    Thank you for both wonderful topics,
    Have a great night!
    Peace

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hey Policy Maker!

    I think I'm planning to leave whenever I finish my Bachelor's Degree. Why waste money on a place when you can just live at home for free? It has its ups and downs, but saving all those expenses really outweigh the cons.

    - Kyle

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hey PolicyMaker!

    I currently live with my parents. I won't be moving out until I get married. It's a cultural thing for us we don't leave the nest until a nest is created for us to move into. I like living with my parents because my mom cooks the best meals and my dad provides for the family. But everything else I do it. My parents don't know how to speak english so I am their translator, transporter, babysitter and so much more. I am the first person in my family to attend college so for that reason they are paying for my education. They never had the oppertunity to attend school back in my country but when we moved here they encouraged me to attend school and they are my biggest motivation. I have 2 sisters with disabilities so I take care of them mostly. So even if i had the option to leave I wouldn't want to. Sometimes when I am studying I want to but it only lasts for few seconds after my mom says come and eat haha so yeah I will be with them until I have a family of my own then will move out!

    Thanks for the forum
    Have a nice day
    ~ NjBr

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hey!

    Good question

    I have already left the nest. I was with my parents until I got married then lived with my husbands family. Afterwards I got a divorce and now live with my kids. I have no support from anyone I am always working to take care of my children and pay for school.

    Thanks
    Have a nice day
    - Kamila

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hi Policy Maker,

    I did not move out of my uncle and aunt's house until I was 31 years old. They were relocating to another state and I had the option to go with them. I made the decision, however, to take life on my own and be a bit more responsible for myself. I must say it feels good to be independent and to face the challenges of having to pay your own bills on time. It's been very encouraging for me. I will be moving in with a friend soon to share responsibilities but I've already tasted living on my own and I enjoyed it, but I'm also looking forward to shared economics.

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hello Policy Maker!

    I left home fairly recently. It was a little over a year ago and I was 20. I had decided I would move out when I had my own paid-off car and a license (because that's kind of necessary for driving lol). I grew up in a home where money was very tight and space was limited to one room for a family, so it was in my best interest to move if I wanted to keep my sanity haha.

    As for expenses, my mother slowly stopped paying for those when I was old enough to work. If I wanted new clothes I mostly got hand-me-downs. By 18, I was paying for most of my living expenses including car insurance, car payments, my phone, clothes, school, books and some of my food (I was vegetarian for a while). When my car was paid off (I was 20), I took off and now pay for everything on my own as well as support my brother. All in all, I believe it's been a smooth transition, so I am very proud of that.

    Thanks for the forum!

    Karely

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hello Policy!

    I moved out at 17 when I started school last fall. I moved out because my school is in another state than the one my parents live in. Even if I was in-state I wouldn't live at home because I live a few hours away from the closest university and travel costs and time would outweigh the benefits of just living on/close to campus. My parents still support me financially (thankfully) and I want to hope that when I get a stable job and an income I won't need their support and can help to pay them back for paying for my education.

    -Emma

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hey!

    I currently still live with my parents, but I do plan on moving out within the next few years. I am only 19 right now and I know I will not be able to support myself if I move out now, but I do want to move out on my own before I finish college. If not, I'll move out after college and be on my own. Even though I won't move out soon, I do plan to take over some of the bills my mom pays for me so I can learn how to budget and care for myself before I'm completely on my own.

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hey there!

    My sister wants to move out soon, but she's not eighteen yet, so it'll probably take a little while. However, she's going to be working a lot this summer (she wants to be independent, plus she'll have her diploma, so she'll be able to work as much as she wants), so as a a trial run of what it's like to be independent, my mother will start charging her rent, as well as expecting her to pay for her own phone bills and groceries. As for me, I haven't flew the nest. I'm going to be in college for a while longer, and the rent my mother charges me is a lot better than the rent some other people pay. But in the meantime, my mother has shown me how to pay bills, both online and through the mail, as well as planning ahead to see how to cut down on certain bills (like the light or water bill).

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hey guys

    Thank you all for responding! I hope I did not offend anyone with the question. This question is more of a personal question rather than an opinionated question (like when should a person leave home?) Everyone has different walks of life as we can see from the responses, so there is no "right" way. This post surprisingly had more reasons for not moving out/ still being independent while living with parents than the typical American (middle class) way, which is moving out for college but parents continue to pay for living expenses until well into the child's career.

    Peacelover - I think you're right as I mentioned above. Your friend's experience is a good example. Moving out does not equal independence unless you're taking care of your own expenses. Your situation is obviously not the typical American way of life, so you can find independence differently. Your parents are dependent on you as well. ... Thanks for responding to my previous post as well. I too run out of posts when I want to respond to more haha. Nice observation. But I think that excerpt is only referring to the amount of money awarded per week to figure out how many people can win for that week.

    Everyone:After much reading and experience (I live in a predominantly black low class area. But I went to school in a predominantly white high middle class area. Now I'm at a PWI) I've learned that generally speaking, white and economically advantaged parents allow their children to be more independent as kids: they can debate with their parents, make certain decisions, and have busy schedules with extra curriculars, but they depend on their parents for extended amounts of time after turning 18. Blacks and lower class parents tend to believe kids should "stay in a child's place": parents make all of the decisions, children are not able to debate with their parents no matter if they're right, and kids play with other kids (cousins and neighbors) more often than organized sports, but when they turn 18, they are expected to be completely independent. If they stay with their parents, they get no further financial help from parents and are instead expected to help the parents. Obviously this is a generalization and not every family follows the standards to the T, but researched with a sociological perspective and personal experience proves this to be true. And typically when we describe American culture or tradition, we refer to the white middle class way of life with everything.

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hello. I still live with my parents but will be going to another out of state university for graduate school. I never been away from my parents and it will affect all of us. However, even though I will be far, I will still contact, visit and help my parents the best of my abilities.

    Re: Leaving the nest

    My last post was longer than expected, but I don't want others to feel your replies are any less important than peacelover's or my sharing of knowledge, so I decided to use another one of my posts.

    I didn't answer my own forum question, so here it is: I have left home, but I can't say for good until this August. I started supporting myself financially the end of senior year. I made my own decisions in high school, but I still had to listen to mom. I decided which high school I wanted to attend, classes and APs to take, college I wanted to go to, etc. Parents had an online way of checking grades, but she never made her own password. That was the start to my independence. I had to figure out exactly how much scholarship money and grants I was awarded to the school that I really wanted to go to (I had full rides to lesser schools) and figure out how to pay the remainder with my earned income and loans. I continued to work in college rarely ever calling home to talk to my mom. The reason I say, I am not completely independent because during the summer I live with her (last summer I did not. I lived with my boyfriend, but we broke up, so this summer I'm living with her). I can save money this way. When I start my lease in August, I'll never live with my mom again. I'll become completely independent and out of my mom's house at 19 before my junior year in college.

    Hoangry- That's smart. I too think of the most cost effective ways to live. I really dislike living with my mom though!

    Njbr- That's cool. As mentioned before the American (middle class) way of life is not the only way to live. And with cultural differences, there are differences in independence. Your situation is similar to peacelover's as far as your parents not speaking English well. I'm glad you are able to be of assistance to your parents.

    Kamila That doesn't sound like a happy ending. Good luck. I hope you find happiness.

    Motivatedone- that is also a different way of living. I'm glad it works for you. Sounds similar to a bachelor life.FUN.

    Cynthia- That was definitely a smooth transition. Without knowing you, I am proud of you and appreciate you helping your brother.

    Emma- surprisingly, your experience is the first of these to be a "typical American" way. I'm glad your parents are able to help you. I hope I'm able to give that life to my kids.

    Kierra- Good plan!

    Savanna- your experience adds more to this post: even kids in the same home have different ways to grow.

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hey Policy Maker,

    I am 50 yrs. old and I moved out when I was 19 so that was long ago.

    Later,

    Jenelu Rose

    Re: Leaving the nest

    Hello Policy Maker!

    My husband and I currently live with his parents, regrettably. Neither of us are happy about it, but we need to save. Also, we are planning on moving out of the state when he finishes his degree (I already finished mine), so it doesn't make much sense for us to get a place right now, as it is just more money that we would be spending that we could apply to a place elsewhere!

    This is not an optimal situation, but you have to do what you have to do. The less we spend now, the more that we can spend later! I would rather move into a place and be able to completely furnish it, rather than move in and piecemeal it together. I want to move into our new home and start our life together the way I want to. For me, that is decorating it and building our home together!

    Great topic, and enjoy the amazing weather!

    -Kay