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    Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    created by NamasteGal 755 days 4 hours 55 minutes ago

    Category: World

    Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    I don't dismiss that of course men and women can be friends, but what if you befriend a person you can't help to be attracted to, is it difficult to want to just be friends? I had a friend who's husband befriended women at work, and although he never cheated on her, it caused a strain on their marriage, because he would talk about problems with his female cohort.

    My husband just stays away from situation. I have such a great friendship with my husband. But there was no way I could just be his friend, before marriage, as I was super attracted to him. When we dated, our prior friendships started to become redefined. If i had a problem, would I call my boyfriend or my close friend who so happens to a an guy i was once attracted to? It was very clear that I had to change my relationships and priorities.
    Then I thought about a really interesting argument..

    Can men and women just be friends(or same sex) if they are attracted to each others?
    Is there an etiquette when you are in a relationship?
    If you can just be friends, has there ever been a one sided attraction?
    Also last question if not married…Do you ever think that one day you could marry a friend of the opposite/or same sex?

    thanks al!!
    XO NaMo

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    HI NaMo!

    This is a great question because I'm kind of going through that right now. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years in January, I've always had guy friends but never ever was attracted to them. A couple of weeks ago I met this awesome guy and we just connected instantly, and we got along like we've known each other for years. Well, we got drunk with a bunch of friends and he just wouldn't stop smiling and looking at me (it was cute, but I have a boyfriend so I was like uh stop). Like I'm not gonna lie, I am attracted to him (I'm human). I don't think I can see this guy again, because I think we will start liking each other if we do and that's not appropriate.

    I love my boyfriend very much and if he had this kind of relationship with another women, I wouldn't be happy. I think that men and women could be just friends with the opposite sex, but you have to be careful because you can gather feelings for the other. Since I'm not married, I think I could marry a friend of the opposite sex. I like to be friends with the person before I get into relationships anyways.

    Tough question, Have a great day!

    Alexis

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    Hey, NaMo!

    I believe that men and women can be friends even when they're attracted to each other, but it depends on whether that friendship is too close for comfort. If you're in a relationship, it's important to be loyal and committed, and that can sometimes mean being aware of what bothers your significant other. Maybe you're friends with someone you're attracted to, and you know that you would never do anything more with them. However, maybe your significant other is still not comfortable with the idea of you two hanging out so much. This isn't because they don't trust you, but probably because they don't trust the other person or maybe the whole situation just makes them uncomfortable. This is where you cannot be friends with someone you're attracted to. I know it might seem ridiculous, but it's important to respect your partner's needs and emotions. Especially if you're married! If you're married, that's who you committed yourself to and you should uphold that.

    I haven't had this situation happen to me, but I know that if I met someone that I found attractive and started hanging out with him as a friend, that would make my boyfriend uncomfortable. And understandably so! I wouldn't want him to hang out with some girl that he found attractive. And it's not because I don't trust him, but mainly because I don't trust other people. I mean my boyfriend and I started off as friends! And then someone made a move based on attraction and it turned into something more. Who's to say this other person wouldn't be the one to make that move?

    Yes, two people can be friends if they're attracted to each other, but like you said, there's an etiquette to dating and definitely marriage. It's important to understand and respect your partner's emotions because that's who you've made a commitment to.

    Have a wonderful day!

    Riley

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    Hey NaMo!

    Through personal experience, I think it's definitely possible, however I can't speak on behalf of all people. I've been attracted to a lot of my friends, because well, they're attractive people haha! But, as I got to know them better, I soon realized that a relationship wouldn't really work out between us, and that friendship was the best option. Sometimes it's hard if I'm really attracted to a person to get over them, but I eventually do.

    Thanks for reading! - Kyle

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    I've been in awkward situations before when trying to have friends of the opposite sex. I find what works best is to establish very clear boundaries and be understanding if your partner is not comfortable with you hanging out with them. Now if I am attracted to them (and if I have a boyfriend), hanging out with them is certainly not a good idea. Why invite that kind of temptation in? I would distance myself a bit, maybe chat with them once in a while to see how they're doing or hang out with them along with other friends. I find it difficult to be friends with a guy without people assuming you're both together.

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    I feel like they could but one might eventually start catching feelings for the other. If they're friends, they might fall in love with the friendship, especially if they're attracted to each other. So basically what I'm saying is yeah they can be just friends but it may not last a long time.

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    Hi everyone,
    I do believe that a man and a woman can be good friend if they don't have any attraction going on.... most of my friends are guys because I realized that I get along better with men than women. I have been friend with this particular guy for 12 years now and all of that time he told me that he wants me , he is a great friend, we talk all the time about our lives and things that are going on, if there is anyone in the world to marry , it would have to be him but as much as he loves me I don't feel the same way so we are simply friends.... we had sex 3 times but it was just sex, it didn't mean anything because I am not attracted to him. But though he knows that we can only be friends. he still holds on to me. I live in NJ and he lives in TX, we talk and call each other but that is all there is to it. In my opinion, it is a dangerous things to be friends with someone that is attracted to you or that you are attracted to because sooner or later the inevitable will happen. Have a wonderful day.

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    Good morning :)

    I wanted to get to this question yesterday, but I ran out of posts. Stupid five-post-limit, LOL!

    I think it is very difficult to be friends with a person that you are intensely attracted to. Even when you are in a happy relationship, you sometimes meet people that just give you that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am referring to "lust"; that sensation of strong physical feelings for someone.

    Lusting after someone can still happen, even if in a long-term, successful relationship. We are, at our core, animals....however weird that may sound. The body reacts, even if the mind doesn't want to.

    So, whenever I met/meet someone that I feel physically drawn to, I just stay away. I have seen too many situations where an attraction to someone else broke up a relationship, and then that new relationship never worked out. It is just not worth it.

    If there is no physical attraction between two people it should be no problem to just be friends!

    Have a wonderful day :)

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    Hey Namastemom
    I think so. Since i have been little i have had mostly male friends. I have never really been attracted to them. I guess i have a type and they dont fit the criteria. Its so bad if they have a friend and they ask about me they are like oh thats the homie Shay. Lol. Most of my friendships. I value so I will not let it go that far. If my male friends are attracted to me they have never crossed that line. So i dont know if they are or not. My bestfriend in high school was a male.

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    Men and women can be friends, I have many male friends. But they probably shouldn't be friends if one of them is attracted to the other. Chances are something will happen or someone will get hurt. When I was younger, I had a friend that was attracted to me. I didn't end the friendship. Now that I'm older I realize how dumb that was. It caused all kinds of problems down the road that I should have just avoided.

    Jenni

    Re: Can men & women just be friends when attracted?

    Hey NaMo and all!

    Yes, men and women can be just friends; however, if one or the other feels an "attraction" to the other friend then, in my opinion, they went beyond being just friends.

    I am still friends with guys I was involved with in the past. We have enough respect for each other to not go into any intimate details when we are in larger groups, or if we are talking to each other's current partner. The past is the past and although we do know details of each other, it does not get spoken of now.

    Crossing the line in an attraction of a friend can cause problems. I steer clear of my guy's male friends for this very reason. I don't want to get to know them beyond being good friends and friends is clearly defined in my book! Crossing those lines only brings on bigger trouble. Like, I would never go anywhere with a friend of my guy's. I want my guy with me when his friends are around to keep things above board, so to speak. We both do this. He doesn't want to be alone with my gal pals either and I don't want him alone with them, either. They tend to take flirting to dangerous levels and have broken some people up in the past. I don't need this.

    I do believe you can be just friends, but when attractions are brought into the mix things go wrong.

    MaryJP