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    When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    created by Savann96 67 days 7 hours 40 minutes ago

    Category: Entertainment

    When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Happy Friday Eve! For today's question, this will be based off of an embarrassing but funny scene I saw a while ago. While on the highway to get home, this woman was complaining of how her stomach was aching because she REALLY had to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, the highway got blocked up due to construction, so it was a slow crawl the whole time. You can imagine how bad I felt for her when she was just fidgeting in her seat, and she got to the point where she announced, "Oh my god, I've gotta go! If this traffic doesn't get going, I'm going to jump out and go into the bushes!" She then went on to say "I'm even afraid to fart, that's how bad it is!" I tried so hard to keep a straight face, but it was so funny!

    If you were ever in that situation, would you risk going into the bushes with all of those cars nearby, or would you try desperately to hold it in? And yes, the traffic did pick up and she was able to get home. You can imagine how fast she went into her house, ha ha!

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Hey Hey!

    I hate it when that happens! When you have to use the bathroom super bad but the forces of the universe are somehow conspiring against you to make it impossible! If it was bad enough I would head for the nearest shrubbery if need be but that would suck so bad. Having to whiz is one thing and it can be done anywhere but if your dropping off the kids at the pool (so to speak) that would be horrible. You gotta do what you gotta do though.

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Hey Savann,

    This topic and the stories from you and Slynch made me LOL!! I hope I am not in the situation to decide, but I am of the thought "you gotta do what you gotta do" too!

    Here is a story on the topic. My friend had warned her young son to use the bathroom before they left for an outing,,,his not doing so was an issue for them on past outings!!! Well, her son didn't want to admit the error of his ways, so he decided to use the bathroom in a cup thinking that he could do his business and keep it hidden from her! Being the youngster that he is, he didn't account for the force factor of peeing into a cup at close range! Bahahahah!!! His mom found out what he was doing when the stream of urine flew out of the cup and hit the roof of the vehicle and sent the spray raining down on her!!!! Eeeewwwww!!! Can you even imagine the scene that ensued?!

    Thanks for the laugh,

    Auntiec

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Hi Savann,

    O man, these are such hilarious stories although I'm sure they weren't funny at the time. I am almost embarrassed that my story is not as funny.

    I was about 5 or so on the 4th of July and we went to see the fireworks that are about 7 or so minutes from our house. Since we were less than 10 mins from home, I told my mom that since the line at the porta potty (ew) was really long, I could make it home. I was wrong. There were about 5,000 cars leaving at the same time going the same way. It took us about 55 minutes to get home. My mom finally gave me the beach towel that we had been sitting on for the fireworks and I wadded it up and sat on it and went. Thanks goodness we had that so it didn't get all over the car.

    Thanks for the chuckle, and have a good one!

    Kasey

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Hi!!

    hahahah these stories are definitely funny to look back at- but in the moment, it's absolute HELL! hahaha

    I remember a similar situation happened to me, except I was on a BUS, and I couldn't just yell out to the driver and say, "I really need to take a shit, can we pls stop by at the nearest bathroom?!" It was the worst feeling because you literally cannot think of anything but sitting down at a toilet at home, but all I had in the moment was public transportation and a bus seat! LOL

    I think if I was stuck in traffic, I would risk it and go in the bushes instead of continuing on the constant torture of sitting in a car surrounded by traffic!

    Have a great one!
    Alex

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    OK -- I really hate to tell this story. Because I was grown, people! :)

    We were invited to a big celebrity's birthday party at their palatial home way out in the country. I was way too excited and nervous. It took my then-husband and I two-plus hours to drive there. We turned off the freeway and wound our way through all these country lanes past farmland to get to the estate. At the party, there was an incredible buffet set up outside under a tent with everything you could want to eat.

    I still blame that rare lamb carving station. Maybe it was the mushroom tortellini. After three hours, my stomach started rumbling, but I thought I was OK. After all, I had visited the fancy ladies room before we left. We said our goodnights and began the journey home. But within 20 minutes it hit me -- oh no, I gotta go now! I'm going to explode!

    We were driving down a dark country lane with no civilization in sight. There wasn't time to go back. I screamed at my hubby to pull over by some shrubs next to a cow pasture then I grabbed a wad of fast food napkins from the glovebox and sprinted into the darkness in my party outfit. It was the most humiliating situation ever! Worse, a couple of cars also coming from the party stopped. From behind a bush, balancing against a fence, I heard people asking my husband, Hey, are you OK? Do you need a jump? Got a flat? Ugh. I kept thinking, PLEASE GO AWAY!

    I staggered back to the car and had to lay in the back seat, dehydrated and mortified, until we got home. True story.

    When you gotta go, you gotta go! :)

    -J

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Hi Savann,

    One of my biggest fears is not being able to find a bathroom. That’s a pretty funny story too. I had a friend that has a similar story. She’ll remain nameless, but while we were in Africa, she really had to go to he bathroom. Needless to say there aren’t many bathrooms there for public use, and the ones they have there are referred to as “squatty potties.” We ended up pulling to the side of the road just outside one of Africa’s largest cities, Addis Ababa. She ran to the nearest bush. I felt so bad for her since it was off a busy highway and she was the only white girl for miles. We stood out as is and people watch you when you go to the bathroom there sometimes. Not the best first memory in Africa for her!

    For me I would try to find a bush. I wouldn’t be too embarrassed unless a bunch of people saw me. It’s funny how animals are unashamed to use the bathroom, but we are. It’s a natural, yet humbling experience to use the bathroom.

    Great post!

    ~Jon

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Hi, well that is funny because I know a local man that is renowned for his anxious bowels when he has to go he really has to go. On a work trip to New York City he got picked up at the airport by some people from the business that he was going to consult with and on the way he said "pull over" and they look at him like he is crazy, saying "here?" Whereas, he gave an urgent "yes" and jumped out as soon as the car pulled over and ran out into the median to go the bathroom. I have never had to go that bad but being a guy I would say it is easier to stop along the road somewhere and go if you have to.

    - W

    Re: When you've gotta go, where would you go?

    Desperate times call for desparate measures! I have been fortunate enough thus far to avoid calamity but once when I was in college I was faced with a similar situation. I had to observe part of a trial and write a report for one of my classes and I didn't have time to grab a real lunch. I went to the store quickly and grabbed a granola bar and a bottle of kefir for protein (for those who don't know it's a fermented, drinkable yogurt). I felt a little rumbling as I was walking to my car but it didn't seem like much. About halfway home I had INTENSE stomach cramps from drinking a probiotic shake on an empty stomach and of course it was rush hour so the traffic was at a standstill. I got home, my dad tried to talk to me but I parked the car, left the keys in the ignition, raced passed him screaming "don't touch me I have to poop!" and made it to the bathroom just in time.