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    What's one thing you cannot tolerate?

    created by earthlyponders 334 days 4 hours 33 minutes ago

    Category: World

    What's one thing you cannot tolerate?

    I see myself as a patient person. I'm patient and understanding with my job, my family, and my friends. I let a lot of things fly past me instead of speaking up or causing a scene when I disagree. Most of the times I'll offer my opinion, but I don't really proceed into a debate or argument.

    But one thing I cannot tolerate is gossip. I refuse to sit around a table and talk about someone who is not present.

    I once was in grad school and we were on a study abroad in Sweden with my cohort. One girl, lets call her Katie, went on a date with a local. There was a group of girl in the restaurant gossiping about Katie and slut shaming her. I'm under the school of thought where your life is yours and do what makes you happy. If Katie was happy on her date, then good for her, it's no one else's business. Also good for her if she did have sexual intercourse, doesn't affect me at all! I made sure to tell the group of girls at the restaurant how inappropriate their gossiping is and I left immediately. I also informed Katie about what was going on, as these people were considered her close friends.

    Close friends shouldn't gossip about each other, nor should anyone else.
    Let's all just coexist in peace, harmony, and happiness.

    Good vibes,

    Re: What's one thing you cannot tolerate?

    Hi Lindsay,

    Gossip can get way out of hand. I had a job that was predominantly all women working there and the gossip typically occurred daily. After a few years I transferred to a new location within the same company that was predominantly all men...and man, I thought the women gossiped, the men were worse to my surprise, especially because they outnumbered women by about 300 to 1. So, any new female that would start there, the rumors would go around like crazy. And if any became friends--just friends--and talked to a male coworker regularly, the stories spread of them having sex. I remember the first time hearing rumors about myself that were so outlandish I couldn't believe people actually believed it. People shouldn't be so concerned about what other people do in their lives anyway that have no impact on them. I learned quickly to dismiss gossip if I didn't see it with my own eyes or hear directly from the person it's about. And I hate when people will say they heard something about you, but won't tell you what it was or who said it. I don't consider somebody like that a true friend, just trying to be nosy and find out if it's true. That was nice that you told her what was going on.

    Anyway, if I could pick one thing, what I can't tolerate is hypocrisy. There have been several situations in my life over the years both at work and with extended family that have made my blood boil, all some form of hypocrisy. I can't stand people who preach one thing, do another, and see nothing wrong with it. Or get mad at someone for something they do all the time.

    Re: What's one thing you cannot tolerate?

    Hi Lindsay,

    Yes, that is a annoying and good for you for standing up to your friends and voicing your opinion. You are absolutely right. What Katie chooses to do is her choice and has nothing to do with you or them. It doesn’t affect your life so why stress out for no reason.

    One thing I cannot tolerate is someone who is rude. I am usually quick about calling someone out about being rude. It is unnecessary to treat people rudely just because you are having a bad day.

    I hope you have a wonderful day and stay clear of the gossip girls. Lol


    Re: What's one thing you cannot tolerate?


    Gossip really ruins lives. Lots of people like gossiping and think it's fun, but it isn't really fun when the gossip is about you. I personally get very uncomfortable when people start gossiping and I'll quickly change the subject. I also avoid hanging out with people who always seem to be gossiping- I know that they will gossip about me, too.

    One thing I have no patience for is rude or mean people. I've encountered some people who think they are really nice people yet are always condescending and don't keep their word. They are always putting down others to make themselves seem better. I don't like those sort of people and have very thin patience when dealing with them.


    Re: What's one thing you cannot tolerate?

    Hi Lindsay,

    Gossip is awful. I was in a similar situation in which my group of friends and I all got together for an afternoon BBQ. One couple could not attend, so everyone else spent the entire BBQ talking about them. I was shocked because they are friends with everyone and never bring any drama, so the gossip seemed completely unwarranted. I spoke up and told those friends that everyone was gossiping, and then I ended up being "the bad guy". Those friends held resentment and were mad at me for a long time. It was so frustrating!

    One thing I can't tolerate is when others make you feel bad for your decisions. Kind of like the situation above, I made a decision to speak up and everyone made me feel like a jerk for doing so. In another situation, my boss had seemed very supportive of my decision to go back to school, but now that school has started, she has taken every little jab at me to make me feel like it was the wrong decision. Drives me bonkers.

    I couldn't agree with you more about coexisting with peace, love, and happiness!

    Re: What's One Thing You Cannot Tolerate?

    Hi earthlyponders,

    I totally agree! Gossip is so disempowering. When I find myself getting sucked into the gossip and drama of things, I will either remove myself from the conversation or try to change it because it makes me uncomfortable as well.

    One thing I cannot tolerate is people yelling, spanking, or hitting their kids. I am amazed when parents do this in public. Even when children are being annoying, misbehaving, or a brat, they do not deserve to be yelled, spanked, or hit. No one deserves that type of treatment, especially in public. Even if they are "just children", "they are my kids", "this is how I get my children to behave", "this is what my parents did", etc., they are still another human being and them being half your size and in your complete power does not justify maltreatment. It is unacceptable.

    There is also a lot of research behind why spanking and hitting children is ultimately ineffective and psychologically harmful to your children.

    Thanks for reading,