I don't know if anyone has started a forum like dis, but ill go ahead anyway. I come from an African family that mostly frowns on interracial relationships. And its not just mine, most African families look down on it. I dont have a problem with it, as long as the love and attraction is there, but i have never been in one. Its just that even in this day and age there is goin to be a lot challenges you have to get through if you're in a relationship like that. But then again, every relationship has its own set of problems. So, i just wanted to know wat yall think about an interracial relationship, and if you can ever be in one.

PS: please vote for moi if u can. thx

Great post once again, GInDemand!! There is something similar where a girl is talking about having researched it on the Internet, but she spelled in Interrational Relationships as sort of a play on words, I think!!
Last Thursday, I was at a Teen Race Relations Summit and this was one of our topics. I am the type of person who wants everyone to do what they feel like doing when they are not hurting anyone else. I made the argument that when you are in love, you don't really look at something this shallow!! There is a saying or a line from a song that goes
"Do I love you because you are beautiful or are you beautiful because I love you?" This always makes me think about love and relationships. I personally have never been in a relationship at all, lovewise that is, but I think that once you get to know a person and find out that you have so much in common, you don't care what their nationality is!! Love is so strong and I think that true love has no bounds!! I don't know if I am right off attracted to people of different nationalities in terms of love because I don't believe in love at first sight anyway!! I like people that I can talk to and don't judge my goals with traditions that they think everyone else should have!! I am so shy, so I don't think I'd ever walk up to a guy and flirt with him, but I would not push him out of my way just because he was white or Chinese or something because I am not this shallow!! I am very openminded and I don't get in other people's business about their personal lives because I have my own life to live and too much to do!!
So you are African? What country are you from, GInDemand? I am Ethiopian on my maternal grandfather's side and Native American on my maternal grandmother's side, though this is a little off topic!! I want to practice medicine and go to medical school in Egypt though, in the opposite order of course!!
Stay cool and smile forever!!

I was born in 1950, and lived in Edenton North Carolina, later I was moved to Norfolk Virginia. Later my mother and father divorced and I was moved to San Diego Califionia. My enviornmental zone was white. In North Carolina and Virginia (back then) the black folk lived separately in another part of town. San Diego was different, it was (and still is ) a naval town. Somehow my life was directed by those who wanted to keep me white. I was too young, and did not have the cognition to realize what was happening. I remember talking to my aunt and the subject was on relatioships, for some reason I said it does not matter if one person was white and the other was Asian, man did she hit the roof, big shock to me, I couldn't figure out where she was going. My maternal grandmother was very racist. I spoke with my sister, who enlightened me. My grandmother referred to people according to name calling, for example an African American was called the "N" word.
Diverisity for me was a wake up call. I grew up with Hispanics, but never alongside African Americans. In the army I remained in a shell because I did not know them and they did not know me. I remember the "Long Hot Summer in L.A." I believe it was the summer of 1968.
Now, have I ever had a relationship with an African American ? No! but it just never occured. I have two daughters, would it bother me if they did? No! I only look for someone who would give respect to my daughters, I would give to them. I was stationed in Abu Dhabi and attended chuch. There was one church, Americans had morning service, Philipines had the afternoon, and those from India had the last service. In Abu Dhabi church was on Saturday, the government disallowed service on Sunday, as it gave the Christians, what they believed was a certain amount of power. My wife and I enjoyed the service with the Philipines and India and Sri Lanka. In fact, my wife and I were at a friends house, they were from England. Someone approached me and asked me when we were going to church with our own kind; I was flabbergasted, and speechless. What gives with people. My wife was born in Juarez Mexico, and we have been married for 30 years. I think international relationships are great. By the way when I go to heaven, guess what God is very diverse, sorry if you were looking for an Arrayian Heaven.

Yes of course, it happens all the time, and there are a ton of happy couples out there!

Even my close family friend couple is a Korean and Italian. I have Korean friends who date non-Koreans and vise versa!

Besides the common cultural and language barriers, people all the same. So basically girls are girls and boys are boys.

I always get attracted to non-Koreans too! There is no law against interracial relationship, it just might be the norms that a culture has set that hinders some people's initiatives.

After all love is same too so...good luck with whatever you do!

Great post, GlnDemand :)

It's great that the people who have responded to this post are open-minded. All have been very positive and self-reflective replies, encouraging :)


Everyone, keep your heads up :)

P.S. I recommend that you add tags to your posts so that site searchers can find them :)

My white aunt ended her three year marriage for a African American. The family doesn't like him at all, She thinks it is because of his race,When in reality it is because he doesn't work, sponges off her and takes away from her four kids and last but not least He beats the crap out of her,He has been to jail three times for this. Before we knew all this negative stuff about him like when they first got together, He was welcomed with opened arms, I really liked him until he showed his true colors. Just for the record she keeps him even after he beat her so bad that her ears bled and her eyes were swollen shut.That would make an interesting post Why do woman stay will abusers.

I am from an African family too, and I totally understand where you are coming from! All of my relatives married into families of the same heritage, including my parents. How could every single person in my family (a majority live in America now) live in a country full of every different nationality, and "coincidentally" find a nice African girl/guy to marry? Please. I know they were specifically looking for an AFRICAN guy/girl to love, not just another HUMAN BEING to love.

Personally, I am conflicted on my feelings about the subject matter. I would really like to marry a man of my own culture so that my child recieves just as much education about his background as possible. On the other hand, I know when it comes down to it, I'm going to choose who I love, no matter where he's from. It is just going to be sad that my family and loved ones will percieve my marriage outside of our culture, as a slight dissapointment.

I'm in an interracial relationship. So I guess I don't have problem with it. My fiance's mom is white and his dad is black. I know my dad didn't have a problem with us getting together. I think my mom did a little bit a first, but she got over it. I know my grandmother would have had a problem with us being together. I am from Georgia. No offense to anyone but it is mainly older people that have a problem with it. I know when we lived in GA it was mainly the older people that would give weird looks.

Yeah I agree with the statement that it’s primarily older people who have a problem with this. When I went to Japan my grandfather (A person who grew up in the Cold War and experience WW2 as a child) said basically ‘Why would he go to those Japs? Don’t they know what they did?’ I think a lot of hatred of cultures come from past feuds and disagreements those cultures had for years. (Imagine a French and a British person getting married in the 1700s! I think that would cause a lot of anger from their families) I think America will face the same problem if a non-Muslim person and a Muslim person get married due to the false images Americans typically hold of the Muslim community. Over time, everyone will be a little mix of everything and it won’t really matter as the world is getting smaller and smaller. To this day I’m not 100% sure on what I am, I know I’m just mostly French Canadian.

I would also like to mention how my friends who are Indian in heritage cannot date anyone non-Indian and even more specifically someone who isn’t Punjabi, Gujarati, etc. This is because of their tradition and their past. I think it’s once families live in America (my friends are first generation Americans) more they will become more accepted of other cultures.

I have an interesting situation. My mom is white and my dad is hispanic. When I was in 6th grade my mom saw me hugging a black guy and flipped out on me. She told me that she only wanted me to date white guys. I didn't get it. Was I not allowed to even date my own race. Only top of that, I have a brother who is half black, so does that mean she doesn't like black people either even though she has a black son? I soon found out that she was upset because she had bad experiences with my dad and my brother's dad. But you know what, my mom recently got married to a white guy that treated her like shit. He was psycho. So what does this tell me? It tells me that race has nothing to do with the way a person acts.

Our world today is very diverse. We are bound to meet people from different cultural backgrounds and why not fall in love. I believe love has no race or religion,etc. If you're truly in love then no prejudice will ever be present. I am in a relationship with an American girl (She's mostly German) and I'm from Ecuador, South America. I think that as long as there's mutual attraction and love..there's nothing that will hinder the relationship.

Art

I think interracial relationships are completely fine, and shouldn't be discriminated against. To me, there's nothing wrong with it, and I wouldn't mind being in one if that's God's plan for my life.

We're all human...why does it matter what color our skin is? Sometimes I wish we were all color blind.

Wasn't there another thread called "Interational Dating" or something? I love the 'Exlpore' button. People use it so often...

Back on task: It doesn't matter if people were colour-blind or not because they'll always be petty little creatures. If everyone was the same colour then it would be religion. If one religion managed to wipe out all the other religions (and I imagine there are quite a few that would love to do that!) then it would break down into individual factions of that religion, then it would come down to hair colour, then freckles, then...you get the picture.

People are stupid. They like staying that way. Stupidity causes ignorance. Ignorance causes fear. Fear causes hate. Hate causes violence. Violence helps breed more stupidity.

It's human nature. Sucks, doesn't it?

-Ferret

"Why can't we all just get along?" - Rodney King

I agree with you Ferret. People have the natural tendency to form factions in order to become a majority. This world is all about power and control over others.I personally believe that prejudice against anything is wrong. We are all equal but let's face it. Prejudice has been around for a while and won't stop until we all start doing something about it.

Art

yeah, that was me who spelled "Interracial Relationships" wrong, my bad (it happens!). I used to be against it but, now I am okay with it! As long as you're with that person for their personality not their skin color (believe me I've seen it).

I grew up in a small, predominantly white, hick town and went to an even smaller, definitely all white, hick high school. My step dad definitely stereotypes people, but I don't think he's actually racist (and this is the type of household I was raised in). In all honesty, growing up I didn't have much contact with...I don't even know the politically correct word to use here...is black ok? It's less characters than African American so I'm gonna use it - not because I'm racist or ignorant or anything, you can call me Injun and I won't be offended. LOL.

Anyway, my first real experience with black people wasn't until I joined the Army and whoa!! Let me tell you .... CULTURE SHOCK! There were some blacks that fit the typical stereotypes, and then there were others who were more "white" than I was. Through the years, I befriended many black people, and even went on a couple dates with a black guy. But the reality of it is simply this: we are from different cultures and therefore we have different views about different things.

I don't have a problem with interracial dating for the people who can find the right balance between their cultures and beliefs. Regardless of the color of the skin - a relationship is either going to work or not work based on the things that one believes in. I'm sure many of you have seen the movie "Crash". People prejudge without even realizing it. Ya, when I drive through downtown Spokane past the crack houses and bums standing on the street corner I have a natural tendency to lock my doors. And yes, when I'm alone and come across a group of men (regardless of race) either at a mall or club or whatever - my heart beat tends to quicken a little in fear. But as Ferret said, "Fear causes hate" and I try not to be so judgemental.

A lot of people have made some very thoughtful responses to your post - you started a great discussion. I thought I would add my 2 cents to the pot...

Interracial relationships are difficult; love is difficult. Although I think whether 2 people who chose to get involved love each other is the most important thing - it would be irresponsible not to consider the implications of engaging in a relationship with someone of a different race. I am not saying that these complications should disuede anyone - just that they should be considered and prepared to deal with them.

Another thing concerned me - and hear me out before you jump on me - one person mentioned "color-blindness" and others implied that color of ones skin or one's ethnicity should matter in life, and in this situation love. I think it should.

America is a melting pot of nationalities, ethnicities - we are a beautiful box of crayons to keep it at the most basic level. Our color does matter in that for most of us it is part of our identity and to ignore part of our indentity would be doing a disservice to ourselves. "Color" should matter in that way - it is part of who we are; no it is not the sum of who we are but it is an important defining factor that should be celebrated.

I have no problem with interracial relationships. Besides,we are all part of the Human Race. In fact, how could I have a problem with it? I'm an American. My family line comes from French, German, Italian, Dutch, and Indian. That's just one side. Even when it comes to skin color, I have no problem. Sure, some people want to preserve thier people by only staying with the same ethnic group and that's fine, but as for me, I'm not worried about it. Love is love. In fact, it makes things a little more exciting to be with someone of a different culture. My family used to be a little discriminatory about this subject but they have completely changed and now they love all people no matter what. Hey, we all bleed the same blood.

I love to see interacial couples...it just seems natural for me to see them.. This one time i wasin the mall directing this older guy in the bathroom direction when this black and white couple walked bye.. He seemed shocked like he'd never seen a b&w couple before. I didnt pay any mind to it because they were just a couple. Its normal. And he asked me if i saw them , i told him yea and he was even more shocked i was just thinking in my head... "Is this guy serious?" His reaction just seemed really weird to me.