I am a football mom and my husband is a coaching dad. We have been involved in youth sports for going on 7 years now with our son. We have always had an agreement that we would NOT force our son to play sports. His level of participation will be up to him. The minute he communicates that he is not happy or no longer wants to participate then we would not force it.
So far GREAT! He LOVES sports and is an excellent student (one of our requirements in order for him to participate).
We have witnessed, over the years. Many parents and coaches who are "cut throat" when it comes to their kids and their sports. Parents become very volatile and violent. They cause issues on the team, with the coaches, with the other parents and kids. Some coaches pick and choose and prefer to WIN WIN WIN over fun and safety. We have removed our son from teams with this atmosphere and negative guidance. What would you do? What are your thoughts? What kind of rules do you think should be in place to protect kids from this type of negativity?

Well I am a student athlete right now and I know how it feels like to be in that type of atmosphere. Not from my own parents, but others athletes parents.
I am also a competitive swim coach for children ages 6 - 11. One thing I always tell my kids parents is that they should not be swimming to please you. They should be swimming to have fun. One rule I impose is that parents can not be on the deck during practice. I am the coach and I will do the corrections. Parents are there for support. Another piece of advice that I can give is to congratulate all of your childrens teammates. Cheer for them all. It shows the other parents that maybe they are doing good and that no one will get mad at a 7 yr old for not performing well. A team with a tight nit group of supporters makes the game more fun.

If you have any specific questions I will definately be happy to answer them. This is just a generalized outlook.

Thank you!! I agree and good job to you! Sounds like you have good people and communication skills. We have had the unfortunate experience with a couple of coaches who lack those skills. They are rude and abrupt to the parents and treat practice as if it were a boot camp. It really sucks the fun out of it for the kids. However, by recognizing it and moving on to a better place we did all that we could do to turn it into a positive. My husband as a coach really becomes attached to the kids that he coaches and they respond very well to him. He is one of the few football coaches that doesn't scream and yell at the kids. He actually gets a better response from them without doing that, they don't fear him, instead it is true respect! It's nice to see!
It just saddens me to watch the news and see a story about a fight with parents and/or coaches at a youth sports game. What message is that sending the kids?

The message that it is sending to the kids is horrible. It tells the kids that they are allowed to act that way during the game and let their emotions get the better of them. A suggestion for your husband as a coach is to always reward the kids. When I played youth hockey no matter when we won the game or had a bad loss someone would always get the MVP game puck. Maybe your husband to show the parents that their child just wants to have fun can give out a game ball for offensive player and defensive player each game. If he chooses to do this make sure every player gets the game ball during the season. It has nothing to do with how well they played. Its just to keep their spirits high and focused on the team. Getting a game ball will make every child work harder and their parents will appreciate the performance more

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing. Your showing a positive influence on your children. Kids should know these days, that winning isn't everything. The "best" doesn't win everytime. For ex: that one football season when New York Giants were 0-3 and came back to when the superbowl against the New York Patriots. They won because they were resilent and had an open-mind. As an athlete if you have those characteristics you'll win when it will count the most.

I think that most kids are still learning the ideas of self discipline and responsibility. Participating in youth sports and other after school activities are a great way to instill those values into our kids. When we allow our children to quit whenever they decide they are unhappy, it gives them the message that it is not important to finish what you start and that if ever you dont like something you should simply eliminate it from your life. Maybe there was a dilemma at practice that the child was not happy about. That one incident could cause the child to feel angry, and in the heat of the moment they want to quit the team.

I think it is important to strongly encourage children to finish the things they start. If they tell you that they are unhappy or want to quit, we should talk to them to see exactly why they are unhappy. Maybe a minor change can make all the difference. We should take the initiative to further explore the childs thought process and understand them and at the same time, explain to them why it is important for them to finish everything they start.