Is it even possible to be pure and modest in todays society where sex sells and immodesty is rampant?

I think there might be a problem when I go into a store to buy summer clothes and the shorts look like my underwear. Even winter clothing has become immodest.

For those of us in relationships, there is so much pressure to become involved in sexual activity.

So, where is the line?? Having someone tell us what we can and can't do in a relationship or can and can't wear may seem like a good idea but it really won't mean much to us.

The Bible tells us to "flee sexual immorality" and that there shouldn't be "even a hint of sexual immorality" among us.

So for those of us who are trying to live righteously and without conforming to the world.. what is YOUR advice??

What does a "hint" of sexual immorality even mean? Sex is bad, but then things that might cause other people to think sexual intercourse took place are also bad? What if certain people think some things indicate sex, but others think it doesn't (i.e. making out). Is it then bad as well? The whole idea is just so subjective.

I don't really care how anyone dresses. Then again, I'm not someone who has a tendency to poke their noses into other people's personal choices/business. I fail to see how clothing can be detrimental to society.

when your in your late teens or an adult, then really its your problem how you dress. what bugs me is when you see 13 and 14 year olds out wearing something you wouldnt see on a hooker. that is just wrong. and that IS a problem. children that young should still have the "pure and modest" look. they should not look like a child molesters wet dream.

Shini I totally agree, I think it's terrible what young girls are wearing now. To answer the question though I think it's definatly possible to modest in times like this. You just have to be true to yourself and what you believe. If you don't want to look like a hooker just don't buy the clothes. If you don't want to have sex until your married then be very honest and upfront with the person your dating and don't have sex until you get married. Not everone fits societies mold. So be one of the people that doesn't.

I believe that a 'hint' of sexual immorality is just that - we shouldn't even begin to become physical and put ourselves in that situation. It sounds ridiculous to think of not kissing someone until you get married, but I've seen it done.
It really takes a strong conscience and high standards. And from what the Bible says, I believe we are to have that.

I can absolutely see how clothing can be detrimental to society. I mean, we have to start somewhere. Why not start by producing clothing that makes people lust after one another that may lead to sex which can lead to teen pregnancy and STD's? You really have to look at the small things to get the bigger picture. The devil has corrupted this world and he is working in every possible way.

It is very possible to be true to your beliefs but it's getting harder and harder and a lot less common. So we have to be that much stronger :)

There is no escaping it today. You have to filter it instead. Simply looking into a crowd at the mall is sure to bring you countless examples of immodest dress and behavior. The only option is to not pay attention to it. Look away. If you just found out that a movie you have been eager to see has a sex scene in it, I would say go watch the movie and either look away during the scene or go buy some popcorn or something. You have more control over what you hear on the radio and see on T.V. Exercising restraint and not allowing others to expose you to what you are not comfortable with is the only way to maintain purity. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is going to try to pressure you into foregoing abstinence, then perhaps they are in the relationship for other reasons than mutual happiness. Perhaps the time has come to end it. While I know these words are easy to write and hard to follow, what other choice do we have? That is why they speak of the “straight and narrow” path: it is easy to wander off it. It takes physical work to stay pure in today’s society.

I'm not going to lie, it bugs me when girls put themselves out there and where a ridiculous amount of... not clothes! I believe that modesty should be something to try to achieve. Boys will not dismiss you if you are wearing a moderate amount of clothing, and if they do that's not the kind of guy you want! But that is so much easier said than done. Swim suit shopping is so hard--- you don't want to be hanging out, but you want to be noticed. Fighting for modesty is a very hard battle for young teens to deal with. It's hard and I don't think it'll ever change!

Really good post SarahJane.

Being a guy, it is really difficult to keep your thoughts pure when everyone dresses so scantly.

Here’s some advice for the Christian couple.

1. If you’re in a relationship … go on group dates. That will keep you accountable.

2. Don't put yourself in a situation where you are alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for long periods of time.

3. When you go on a date... invite Jesus along with you. I know that sounds extremely korny but Jesus is going to be there anyway... you might as well welcome him in. It's like taking your Dad along with you on your date. It will keep you accountable.

4. I think the no kissing policy is great until you are further down the road in your relationship. You want your relationship to be with God first and not totally focused on each other. Your boyfriend/girlfriend will end up failing you and hurting you(maybe without them realizing it) and you need to keep a firm foundation with God and not build your foundation around your bf/gf. You don't want your relationship to be based on the next kiss. Eventually the kiss will get boring and you will start looking for more.

5. Keep a no underwear policy. Any where that has underwear … is off limits.

I don't think it's possible to be pure and modest anymore because those people who try are seen as prudes or frigid people. I think it's really difficult for people, especially girls, to not act or dress in the way society tells us it's okay. I know I don't dress that way and I've definitely been called a prude and those kind of things and it's really hard to not fall into a hole that society deems is the way it should be. My only advice is to just forget what society says and be yourself.

Chris and Bents have some great points!

Thank you for sharing :)

I just don't get it. I see slutty looking people everywhere; it's true (guys and girls). It's usually kind of gross to me, unless I'm totally horny that day. But I'm much more worried about violence in our society. Bad taste is not sexy, but worshiping violence as we do is a worse kind of immorality.

I totally agree with you Bents, especially your first two sentences. I don't think any of us lived 50 or even 75 years ago and neither have I, but from what my grandpa tells me, he says that back in the day, you were lucky if you knew what sex was at 14, and now you're lucky if you DONT know what sex is at 14!! Now, it is essentially THROWN at people young and old; I'm sure I've seen even Disney movies with subtle references of sex in it, and personally I don't mind but I worry about the kids who don't know any better and are growing up.

One of my cousins knew about sex when he was 5, FIVE!! It only gives me nightmares what he'll be doing when he's 9 and 10. Yeah, sex sells and it can be found anywhere nowadays, but like Bents said, you've got to FILTER what comes in, ON EVERYTHING (even what they teach you at school, what you read, what you watch, what you hear, etc.)

This society has a problem if everything they see, hear, and read they believe. We've got an even bigger problem if we are so open about sex (this isn't necessarily bad) that the kids' innocent childhoods are tainted.

As for skanky dressing for young teens, there needs to be more parental involvement taking the reins on that.
It's not bad to have sex, but that doesn't mean that we should go around screwing everyone because it feels good.
Does anyone save it for marriage anymore (because personally, I feel like the 'odd one out' because I do, esp. being a guy).

Don't say that it's impossible, because everything is possible.

People call me modest. Someone asked if I was Amish once. No, I am not. I am Baptist.

I have never hugged a guy, much less kissed one.

I dress in long skirts most of the time and I never wear strapless shirts or tank tops without anything on top. My main hairdo is a French braid because I don't like to wear my hair down. Even though I am different than other people around me, I feel comfortable and not intimidated. Some people question me why I always wear skirts. I just say that that's in my religion, because it is. I feel self-conscious when I wear pants, which I have to do in P.E.
I guess my outfits match my personality, because I am shy and I smile all the time, so wearing skirts doesn't bother people as much.

Sometimes guys try to hug me, but I move away and tell them that I can't hug guys. They just say "Oh yeah, it's your religion." I can't imagine my life otherwise.

When people curse around me, I either go away, or I block out their voices, or I ask them straight up to please not curse around me. They look at me and say "You're religious, right?" But they stop.

I will never hug or kiss any guy until my marriage. Love is sacred and you can't just go and waste your feelings on just anyone.

That's how I feel, and so far, I didn't see anyone who has a problem with how I act or how I dress.

So purity and modesty does exist. I know that I am not the only one with these types of beliefs :)

I thought I had it hard as a kid, but watching and hearing things kids talk about now days with my kids, it gets harder to for kids to not listen to society.

I admire you for staying strong. I wish I could have had your strength to stand for what I KNEW was right when I was your age.

Chris and Bents are right on target with their answers. Filtering and not following what society does. Inviting Jesus to your dates.

I was once told if you have something you would hide or cover up if Jesus came to your house for dinner, then you know it is wrong to wear or have.

I'm sorry, I didn't even answer the question.

My advice to all of you: if you wear appropriate clothes long enough, you will eventually feel self-conscious when you wear something different.

Also, set some boundaries for yourself. If it is clothes-wise, then sort through your wardrobe so that it contains clothes that fit within the boundaries that you set for yourself.

If it is emotion-wise, do the same. Set boundaries for yourself. Tell yourself that you cannot do anything inappropriate with your boyfriend or whatever. I know that this is easy for me to say, but hard for you to do, because I have never dated and I don't have these types of problems.

Basically, all I can say is set some boundaries for yourself. Start out with small and simple things, like not wearing anything that may possibly show your underclothes and work your way forward.
Do this experiment like for a week-don't hug or kiss guys and wear clothes that cover your body. If that makes you feel wierd or embarassed, then try something else.

Most importantly, if you want to change, you MUST tell God about your decision. If you want to become pure and modest, you must tell God about it, and He will help you change, guaranteed. However, He will not just do it-you must put your efforts into it, too.

I've heard many people say that my religion is very strict and that we have a lot of rules. But isn't that a good thing? I'm comfortable with my religion, and I agree with it and I try to do everything that I'm supposed to. I do not try to override the boundaries set by the Bible and that helps me be the person I am today. I'm not saying that I'm perfect, because I am not, but looking at girls my age today, I am certainly different.

Good luck to you all :)

Once you start you can't stop....so don't start

Well at one time SaraJane early Christian women did dress up as Muslim women did. You can still see this today with Nuns.

To you question regarding clothes: go with your own instinct of what YOU want to wear. Not necessarily what society or your friends may want.

To you other question regarding pressure of having sex in a relationship: If someone is pressuring you to have sex when you are not ready AND you have made this quite clear. Then that person is not right for you! Hold your ground and don't give in!

I definitely agree that our society is too immodest. Although don't consider myself part of a religion, I do believe religion is seemly the only way our society seems to relate to decency. It's really too bad our society cannot separate common decency with virtues found in a religion.

Sex really is a wonderful thing, its when its tarnished by lust, filth, and perversion is when it becomes truly evil. Honestly, I am not a very modest person, but its not because i like to show off. I hate clothing as a matter of fact, I only wear as little as possible until it is socially acceptable to take it off. We wear clothes to hide our shame, not to keep us warm, these days. Imagine if all of society (not just horny nudist colonies) only wore clothing to keep warm, and when we did it would be modest clothing (not flashy or exciting) People only want to see what they think they are not supposed to. That is why skimpy clothing is such an eye catcher; we believe that we're not supposed to see that much skin. I am one of the few who finds attractiveness in the shape of someones body under their clothes. I don't need to see their stomach to know if it looks nice. I don't need to see a girls cleavage to know that she is well endowed. If you are worried about not being noticed because you aren't wearing clothing up to the standards of society then you are looking to attract the wrong kind of guy. The girl that can make a one piece look good is the most beautiful girl on the beach, and she doesn't need to prove it to anyone.

I don't think this is a religious issue. I'm not religious and so I don't use things like the Bible, but I still don't think 10-year olds should be hookers.

- Lisa